Obama And Aliens And Popes, Oh My
RETAIL | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 11, 2014
(I am starting to shut down my food cart. It has a ‘Now Hiring’ sign, which lists the wages. A man in his 40s walks up to take a food sample.)
Customer: “You know, if you lived in North Dakota you could get an easier job at $15/hour.”
Me: “Uh, that’s nice.”
Customer: “But that’ll change when Obama takes over the country. The wages will drop then.”
Me: “… That’s okay. I’m actually planning on moving to Canada in the next couple of years.”
Customer: *suspicious look* “Canada… You know who I’d trust to run my health care?”
Me: “No?”
Customer: “You. But I wouldn’t trust the Government. They’re shady.
Me: “Yeah. The government does seem to hide a lot from us.”
Customer: “It’s all because of Israel and The Vatican, anyway. Have you heard of the Jesuits?”
Me: “… Kind of?”
Customer: “Well, the black pope is running the Vatican from Jerusalem. See, he thinks the Ark of the Covenant is there. That’s why he wants to sit atop it and rule the world from there. He’s the one who’s actually in control of the Vatican, and running the USA.”
Me: “…”
Customer: “That’s why the USA likes Israel so much! It’s all because the Vatican is baptizing aliens.”
Me: “Aliens like… foreigners?”
Customer: “No, aliens! You know… The greys, the lizard people…”
Me: “…”
Customer: “Anyway, Obama. His name isn’t even Barack. He grew up in Indonesia, and people called him ‘Barry.'”
Me: “Well, Mitt Romney’s first name is actually Willard, which is worse in my opinion.”
Customer: “Hmm… That’s true…” *gives thoughtful suspicious look, as if he’s now distrustful of Romney*
Me: *coughs*
Customer: “Anyway. North Dakota. Think about it.” *walks off*
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