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Closing The Windows On This Scam
RETAIL | WORKING | AUGUST 11, 2015
(We commonly get random sales calls at work, but as we’re a company chain store, we usually give the corporate number and that’s that. For the past four days, though, we have gotten a scam call from an 800 number that ends with four zeros at the end, which is how we have kept track of it. He has a strong accent, gives random male names, and always says he is with tech and calling about our computer.)
Me: “[Store], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Tech: “Hi, this is Kevin. I am calling about your computer.”
Me: *rolls eyes at coworkers and mouths that it’s him again* “Yes, what about the computer?”
Tech: “Yes, your computer is having problems.”
Me: “Oh, really? What kind of problems are you talking about?”
Tech: “Well, when you are getting on the Internet, you are having problems.”
Me: “Hmm, no, really haven’t. Can you explain what you mean?”
Tech: *getting frustrated* When you are getting on the Facebook and your emails, you are getting things that are slowing your computer down. Are you seeing things like that?”
Me: “Nope, haven’t seen a thing.”
Tech: “Well, that is what is happening. Are you sitting in front of your computer?”
Me: “I am.”
Tech: “Is this computer on?”
Me: “No. Should I turn it on?”
Tech: “Yes, I need for you to turn it on for me.”
Me: “It’ll take a little bit.”
(I’m nowhere near a computer, so I stand to the side writing down everything that he’s said to me so far.)
Me: “Okay, it’s on now.”
Tech: “Is it on the Windows?”
Me: “Windows? No. We have it on the desk.”
Tech: “I mean do you have Windows on your computer?”
Me: “No, I don’t believe in that modding nonsense for computers.”
Tech: *getting frustrated again* “Is your computer run by Windows?”
Me: “Oh! You mean is my operating system Windows! Yes, it is.”
Tech: “Yes, then do you see your keyboard?”
Me: “I see it.”
Tech: “Do you see your control key?”
Me: “Yes, what about it?”
Tech: “Do you see what’s beside it?”
Me: “The control key? There’s a shift.”
Tech: *getting angry again*“No, what is beside it.”
Me: “Well, there’s a key that looks like a menu item. That one?”
Tech: “No! On the left side control key.”
Me: “Oh! You mean my Windows key! Yeah, I see it.”
Tech: “I need you to press this down and ‘R’ at the same time.”
Me: “Okay, why do I need to do that?”
Tech: “This will open up this black box so you can type run in there. Is this black box up?”
Me: “No, I don’t have a black box up. What was I supposed to do again?”
Tech: “You need to be pressing the Windows key and the R key at the same time.”
Me: “Oh, you must want me to prompt a run command. Is that what you mean for me to do?”
Tech: “Yes—”
Me: “—and then you’re going to tell me how to give you access to my computer next. Of course, if my computer was actually running slow, I could always go into the BIOS to check things. Or I could get the TDSSKiller. Or run Spybot, or a number of other programs. However, I don’t think I have a problem. I think you just want remote access to my computer so you can still hard earned money from me. Luckily for me, I’m not stupid. You’re calling a company phone, so even if I did run that command, you wouldn’t have gotten anything from us. I will be notifying the necessary people about you and your scam. This number will be posted up so customers will know in advance you are a scam artist, and if you call here again, we are not going to be this nice to you. Do not call this number again.”
Tech: “You are an idiot.”
Me: “And you’re just angry that it didn’t work.” *click*
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