Who’s Got The Power Now
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALL CENTER, EDITORS' CHOICE, TECH SUPPORT, UK | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2008
Me: “How can I help you?”
Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”
Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”
Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”
Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”
Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”
Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”
Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”
Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly mis-advertised. You need to speak to–”
Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now, you f****** son of a b****, and you’ll do it right f****** now!”
Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five-year-old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”
Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”
Me: “No.”
Irate Caller: “What?”
(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).
Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”
Irate Caller: “But you have to!”
Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically, I could have disconnected the call already.”
Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry… Can I have my refund now?”
Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”
Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f****** r****ds are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”
Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”
Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”
Me: *click*
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