There’s Strengthening Your Immune System And Then There’s This
Current Events, England, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, Medical Office, Nurses, UK, Volunteer | Healthy | February 17, 2021
I’m a volunteer marshall. I do anything required at a vaccination site to make things go smoothly, except preparing and giving the actual injections, though I have applied to be trained to do that, too!

The tested vaccine protocol for both vaccines currently on offer in the UK is two doses, three weeks apart. The government has decided to focus on getting as many people their first vaccination as soon as possible, so patients are being told to wait twelve weeks for their second vaccination. I was vaccinated three weeks ago, which means I am ready for a second shot, but I probably won’t be called before Easter; it’s the end of January now. However, I am working on the front line, so I will take it if they offer it to me. Before administering the vaccine, they ask a series of screening questions — allergies, are you well today, etc. — and one of them is, “Have you had a vaccination of any kind in the last seven days?”

I’ve arrived late for my shift at a site I haven’t visited before. I go to the check-in desk where patients go when they arrive to pick a fresh mask up before finding something to do.

I take a mask from a box on the table and indicate my hi-viz.

Me: “Thanks. I’m a volunteer; I have just arrived.”

Admin: “Great, just take a seat there.”

I sit in front of a nurse, thinking she is going to deploy me.

Nurse: “What’s your date of birth and NHS number?”

Me: “What’s happening here?!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; I’m not going to give you an injection.”

Phew! She asks a few more questions and I see where this is going.

Me: “You are not going to give me an injection, but after this, someone else will?”

Nurse: “That’s right.”

Me: “I had the [Company #1 ] vaccine on the eighth.”

Nurse: “That’s fine; it’s more than seven days ago.”

Me: “What vaccine are you using today?”

Nurse: “[Company #2].”

Me: “But I had the [Company #1 ]!”

It took a few more moments to work it out. It had been a long day, and she had asked these questions a lot. There was much laughter as the people nearby had wondered why I kept saying [Company #1 ]! If I had been at the end of my shift and as much on autopilot as she was, I might have been an n=1 study of the effects of mixing two vaccines.

I guess it’s a reminder to own your own healthcare.

There’s Strengthening Your Immune System And Then There’s This
Current Events, England, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, Medical Office, Nurses, UK, Volunteer | Healthy | February 17, 2021
I’m a volunteer marshall. I do anything required at a vaccination site to make things go smoothly, except preparing and giving the actual injections, though I have applied to be trained to do that, too!

The tested vaccine protocol for both vaccines currently on offer in the UK is two doses, three weeks apart. The government has decided to focus on getting as many people their first vaccination as soon as possible, so patients are being told to wait twelve weeks for their second vaccination. I was vaccinated three weeks ago, which means I am ready for a second shot, but I probably won’t be called before Easter; it’s the end of January now. However, I am working on the front line, so I will take it if they offer it to me. Before administering the vaccine, they ask a series of screening questions — allergies, are you well today, etc. — and one of them is, “Have you had a vaccination of any kind in the last seven days?”

I’ve arrived late for my shift at a site I haven’t visited before. I go to the check-in desk where patients go when they arrive to pick a fresh mask up before finding something to do.

I take a mask from a box on the table and indicate my hi-viz.

Me: “Thanks. I’m a volunteer; I have just arrived.”

Admin: “Great, just take a seat there.”

I sit in front of a nurse, thinking she is going to deploy me.

Nurse: “What’s your date of birth and NHS number?”

Me: “What’s happening here?!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; I’m not going to give you an injection.”

Phew! She asks a few more questions and I see where this is going.

Me: “You are not going to give me an injection, but after this, someone else will?”

Nurse: “That’s right.”

Me: “I had the [Company #1 ] vaccine on the eighth.”

Nurse: “That’s fine; it’s more than seven days ago.”

Me: “What vaccine are you using today?”

Nurse: “[Company #2].”

Me: “But I had the [Company #1 ]!”

It took a few more moments to work it out. It had been a long day, and she had asked these questions a lot. There was much laughter as the people nearby had wondered why I kept saying [Company #1 ]! If I had been at the end of my shift and as much on autopilot as she was, I might have been an n=1 study of the effects of mixing two vaccines.

I guess it’s a reminder to own your own healthcare.

This Heart Attack Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Bad Behavior, Illinois, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 15, 2021
I get strep twice per year, every year. It never fails. It comes at different times, but twice a year it comes. I have unusual symptoms that aren’t typically linked to strep as it gets worse every time I get it.

I wake up one morning and sure enough, my head is throbbing and hot, I have the chills, my throat hurts slightly, and my stomach is cramping. My heart is also thumping pretty hard. My fiancé decides I need to go to the doctor, and I agree since it is that time again! Strep.

Not once have I had an issue with going to the doctor, telling them I have strep, and having them test and give me my prescription in under an hour. This time is different.

My fiancé has to drive me, and we can’t get a sitter so he and the kids are waiting for me in the car. I walk in and wait for about ten minutes before getting into a room. After about another ten minutes, a nurse comes in and, without saying a word, checks my blood pressure and heart rate.

Nurse: “Your heart is beating really fast.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I have a naturally fast heart rate, and I’m sick, which makes it beat faster. It’s normal for me.”

Nurse: “You’re going to have a heart attack. We need to run an EKG.”

Me: *Starting to panic* “Um, no, this is a normal heart rate for me. I just have strep throat; I’d like to be tested for that, please.”

Nurse: “No. You’re going to have a heart attack and die. You need an EKG now.”

She leaves the room. Now I am alone and completely freaking out. This has never happened to me before and I am in full panic mode. She comes back into the room with another nurse and a big machine trailing behind her.

Nurse: “Take off your shirt and bra.”

Me: “What? No, absolutely not!”

Nurse: “Take them off. You are having a heart attack and we need to do this test.”

She is hovering over me and glaring at me, and I’m crying at this point, scared out of my mind. The other nurse that came in rolls her eyes at me, and I am confused and still have no idea what’s going on. So, I follow her instructions, unclear on what else to do. She pushes me down and starts hooking up the wires attached to the machine, not explaining what they do or what the machine is. What happens to a person’s heart rate when they are panicking? It increases! After I spend a couple of minutes hooked up to the machine, the nurse clucks her tongue at me.

Nurse: “Yes, you are going to have a heart attack within the next twenty-four hours. All I can do for you is tell you to go home and wait for it. Chew some aspirin if you feel something coming on.”

I’m completely in tears and barely able to speak.

Me: “I— I still need the strep test. I just came in for strep. Please just give me the test. Strep is really bad for me. I need the antibiotics, please—”

Nurse: “Ugh, fine. Wait here.”

She leaves me in the room by myself having a panic attack for THIRTY minutes and comes back with the strep swab. It’s never hurt before, but she shoves it down my throat hard, which makes me cry harder.

Nurse: “Okay, your test is done, but it will probably be negative. Go home and put 911 into your phone; you’ll need it later!”

I left shaking and sobbing. When I got to the car, my fiancé was FURIOUS and offered to go in and cause a scene, but I was horribly upset and just wanted to go home. I did leave a nasty review for them and they contacted me two years later asking about what happened. TEN days later, I got a call with the results from the test. Guess what? Positive! And for some reason, they had sent my prescription to the wrong pharmacy an HOUR away. I never did go back, and I never had that heart attack!

Probably Something Like “Funny Meme Go Brrr”
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | February 8, 2021
I’m at my yearly wellness visit. I’ve been having an eczema flare that is showing up on my eyelids. It has never shown up there before, so I figure I’ll ask my doctor what I can use on it. However, he’s decided that something on his laptop is more important than my appointment.

Doctor: *Staring at his laptop* “So, no concerns today?”

Me: “Uh, no. I do have one.”

Doctor: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “I think my main concern today is my eczema.”

Doctor: *Typing something* “Uh-huh.”

Me: “It’s showing up on my eyelids. It’s never done that before. Is that normal?”

Doctor: *Still typing* “Put some steroid cream on it.”

Me: “On my eyelids?!”

No response.

Me: “Are you listening to me?”

Doctor: *Looks up* “Did you say something?”

I sigh loudly.

Me: “I have eczema on my eyelids. It’s very itchy. What facial moisturizer do you recommend?”

Doctor: “You can use steroid cream on your eyelids.”

Me: “But the tube says not to.”

Doctor: *Starts typing again* “Steroid cream. It’ll clear it right up. Now, if we’re done here…”

I do not put steroid cream on my eyelids. I make an appointment with my eye doctor and tell him the issue.

Me: “…and I did bring it up to my primary care doctor, but all he said was to put steroid cream on it. It’s on my eyelids!”

My eye doctor literally drops his pen and notepad and stares at me.

Eye Doctor: “You didn’t actually put steroid cream on your eyelids, did you?!”

Me: “Of course not. The tube says not to.”

Eye Doctor: “Good. The eyelid skin is much too thin for that. I recommend an unscented facial moisturizer or hydrating eye cream. [Brand] is good for sensitive skin. Geez, what was your doctor thinking?!”

Me: “I have no idea.”

I have a new primary care doctor now.

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap! Part 2
Bizarre, Health & Body, Home, Northern Ireland, UK | Healthy | February 6, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



All through my life, I have been accidentally injuring myself in spectacular ways. The fact that I have balance and coordination problems as a result of ASD and Dyspraxia doesn’t help. At school, the teachers knew me as “the girl who’s always getting hurt.” I have so many stories about me getting injured that it would be impossible to share them all here, but here’s one of the worse ones.

This was about two years ago when I was nineteen years old, on the night of my sister’s sixteenth birthday. My sister and I don’t get on, so my mother and I agreed that I could spend the evening in my room. I was happy enough, as I don’t really cope well with lots of people around, and anyway, none of my sister’s friends liked me.

I was sitting in my room playing a game on my computer, and I got up to use the bathroom. As I slid out from between my desk and my chair, my foot must have gotten caught in a cable, because I tripped. I fell and smacked face-first into a set of bookshelves, smashing my glasses. My hands, forearms, and knees hit the wooden floor with full force. My mother, hearing the loud crash, came rushing in to find me sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from my nose, unable to use my arms to push myself upright. She did her best to stop the bleeding from my nose and then decided that it would be prudent to take me to the hospital.

A couple of x-rays later and the extent of my injuries was shocking. I’d broken my nose in three places; the pain was so bad that I felt sick. I’d broken my left radius and ulna in six places and shattered my left thumb. I’d broken my right wrist in two places and three fingers on my right hand. After an overnight stay in hospital, I went for surgery the following morning and was kept in again overnight.

My mother came to pick me up from the hospital and, according to her, I “looked a real sight.” I had two black eyes and bruising on my cheeks, and my nose was in a cast. My left arm was casted from my fingers up past my elbow, and I had a cast on my thumb. My right arm had a cast covering my three broken fingers and running along my arm until just before my elbow. My knees were bruised, and although not broken, it was painful to bend them.

As I walked out of the hospital with my two arms in slings, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do much for myself for the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve been deaf and non-speaking since birth and I use sign language, so I knew I’d have to get by with nodding and shaking my head. I hated needing my mother to feed me, wash me, and dress me, but what could I do? I told myself that at least I could still walk…

And then two weeks later, I fell down the stairs, broke my leg, and ended up confined to bed anyway!

Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
Australia, Bizarre, Fast Food, Health & Body | Healthy | January 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.

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Taking “Sharing Is Caring” To Another Level
Awesome, Children, Hospital, Inspirational, Maryland, USA | Healthy | January 21, 2021
About a decade ago, I decided to donate my kidney as a non-directed donor, meaning I didn’t know the person who would get the kidney; the hospital picked him. Knowing that I volunteered with children and had a real soft spot for them, the hospital recommended a twenty-two-month-old child as the person to receive the kidney.

The surgery went fine and I got to meet the child for the first time a month after the surgery. I thought this would be the only time I would meet the child.

A number of years later, I get a surprise call from the pediatric department of the hospital where I donated. They are doing a reunion party where they get together kidney donors and kidney recipients, and they want to know if I would like to attend. Excited at the chance to meet the child again, I agree to attend.

When they finally arrive at the party, while their mother is busy signing in, the boy and his twin brother wander into the party and apparently recognize me. The one that I actually donated the kidney to is a bit shy at first about meeting me, not so much his brother.

Twin Brother: “Are you the one that gave my brother the kidney?”

Me: “Yes, I was.”

Without saying anything else, he runs up to me and gives me a gigantic hug.

Twin Brother: “Thank you!”

His brother seems a bit unsure how he is supposed to interact with his kidney donor at first, but I have enough experience with kids that I am able to get him to open up soon enough. Eventually, the brothers are excitedly dragging me around to face painting and all the other activities they have for the party.

Boy: “Where did you get the extra kidney from?”

Me: “Everyone is born with two kidneys, but we only really need one, so they took my left kidney out of me and put it in you, and I keep using my right kidney.”

Boy: “How did they get it out?”

Me: “They cut a hole in my belly button and then stuck a machine in through it which they used to cut my kidney out and pull it out through my belly button. Then they did the same thing to you to put the kidney into you.”

Brother: “Did it hurt?”

Me: “They put me asleep when they cut the kidney out, so I didn’t feel anything then. It did hurt a few days after, but it got much better after the third day. It was worth it to help.”

Kid: “Oh.”

The kid stands there, clearly thinking about that for a few more seconds.

Kid: “Thank you.”

By the end of the party, both twins were asking if I could come visit them again. Since I love kids anyway, I told them I’d be willing to, but I didn’t want to impose, so I told them I could only if their mother wanted to invite me. I heard the kids tell their mother that they wanted me to visit, but I never did get an invite to visit them from her. It’s been many years since then, but I hope, wherever they are, both kids are still as happy and healthy as they were the last time we met.

Fine Time To Take A Tea Break
Employees, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, New Zealand, Nurses | Healthy | July 24, 2022
I’m a nurse in a busy hospital ward. Each ward has a little kitchen where the tea trolley lives. Each one also has a fridge with basic supplies, including the meal replacement nutrient milkshake bottles that many patients are prescribed because many people in the hospital are a bit malnourished or struggle to eat full meals.

Despite these milkshakes being part of the normal running of the ward, they don’t get automatically restocked by our dedicated ward food staff. The nurses have to call the kitchen to request restocks.

The kitchen is notorious for not picking up the phone, and there is often very little time for us nurses to spend trying to call them.

Day 1: I notice our fridge is getting a little low on drinks. I try calling the kitchen. No one picks up. I don’t get another chance during my shift.

Day 2: Our fridge is really low on drinks. I have to steal a few from the next ward, but they are also running low. I call the kitchen repeatedly. It goes to voicemail every time.

Day 3: There are almost no drinks in the fridge. I dial the kitchen — voicemail. It’s near mealtime after all; they’re busy.

I call again. It doesn’t go through. I redial repeatedly. Nothing.

I call again an hour late. It’s picked up! There’s a voice on the other end, but they’re kind of quiet. I can only pick out a few words. What are they saying?

Voice: “Dignity… duty… respect… relationships…”

They had picked up the phone and left it off the hook, so the ringing wouldn’t disturb them getting a lecture on professionalism.

Meanwhile, our cupboards were bare.

I managed to get through and make a request at about 2:00 pm that day. I finished at 3:00 pm, and I’ve been off since, so who knows if the amount or type of what I requested even turned up with the dinner trolley.

When You Hire A Royal Blue Tang To Answer The Phone
Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Reception, Stupid, USA | Healthy | July 22, 2022
I am pregnant and have noticed reduced movements with my baby, so I call my doctor’s office as they told me to do if I experience any problems. After going through the prompts and requesting to speak with a nurse, this is the conversation I have with the receptionist.

Receptionist: “Thank you for calling [Doctor]’s office. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Full Name]. I’m a patient of [Doctor]. I’m about thirty-two weeks pregnant and have noticed that my baby isn’t moving as much as she normally does. Can I please be transferred to a nurse?”

Receptionist: “Uh, I don’t know. Are you a patient?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a patient of [Doctor].”

Receptionist: “What’s the name and birthdate?”

Me: “[My Full Name], [birthdate].”

Receptionist: “And are you pregnant?”

Me: “Yes, I’m about thirty-two weeks.”

Receptionist: “How far along are you?”

Me: “Thirty-two weeks.”

Receptionist: “And you said you’re pregnant?”

There’s a long pause.

Me: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “And why do you want to speak to a nurse?”

Me: “Reduced fetal movements. I was told to call if I noticed any and want to know what the next steps are.”

Receptionist: “I mean, I guess I can leave a message for a nurse, but I’m not really sure what you want us to do.”

After hanging up, I decided I was just going to go into the ER and make sure everything was okay. Thankfully, a nurse called me immediately after and told me to come in for monitoring. The baby was fine, but I had a very similar conversation with the receptionist when I called after going into labor.

Her Concept Of “Unethical” Is… Just Weird
Bizarre, Employees, Ohio, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Healthy | July 20, 2022
My husband and I have both been diagnosed with severe sinus infections. We go to a local walk-in clinic and the nurse practitioner prescribes us the exact same drugs — amoxicillin and Claritin — because we have similar medical histories and those drugs are generally the normal treatment for sinus infections in the United States. We go to a pharmacy at a major grocery store chain to get the prescriptions filled.

We present the prescriptions to the pharmacy tech on duty.

Pharmacy Tech: “I can’t fill these!”

Me: “Why not?”

Pharmacy Tech: “Because you were both prescribed the exact same medications! It would be unethical for me to fill them!”

Me: “We both have sinus infections, and we have similar medical issues, so the nurse practitioner who prescribed them gave us the same thing.”

The pharmacy tech gets a blank look on her face and she starts to mumble to herself. I finally decide to ask for the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes over.

Pharmacist: *To the pharmacy tech* “Why can’t you put these in to be filled? This is the normal treatment for sinus infections.”

Pharmacy Tech: “But they were both prescribed the same medications! I can’t legally give two people in the same household the same medications!”

Pharmacist: “Where did it say that in any of your training? What would happen if you had two diabetics in the same household who took insulin?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I just assumed that two people in the same household can’t have the same medications. It would be different if they were diabetic because you need insulin to live. You don’t need amoxicillin and allergy medications to live!”

Pharmacist: “These people are obviously in extreme discomfort! Put these in the system to be filled! I will discuss this with you later!”

We ended up getting our prescriptions filled. I later learned from a friend who worked at that same grocery store that the pharmacy tech had always been off mentally and that she caused MANY problems with customers due to her lack of common sense. She was eventually fired after refusing to let a government employee use their insurance plan because she said that it “wasn’t fair” that their copays were so low.

Surf Those Metal Waves… But Be Careful
Concert, Employees, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Oregon, Portland, Security, USA, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | July 18, 2022
I work security for a music venue, and since I’m one of the older guys, I usually get to roam the floor, but this day was different. I was stationed in the barricade between the crowd and the stage. The crowd started funneling in and filling up the space by the barricade immediately. I noticed that the crowd seemed to be older metal fans, so we didn’t expect it to get too rowdy.

The first act went on and the crowd was headbanging and lightly mosh-pitting along. Well, that didn’t sit well with the singer, so before the last song, he told the crowd to kick it up because security were his friends and they needed to earn their pay. Immediately, a guy crowd surfed to the front. I caught him and let him go.

The singer commented, “That’s what I’m talking about!” and then started their last song.

My coworker and I were almost overrun by crowd surfers, but we kept up until halfway through the song when a crowd surfer with no shirt, slick with sweat, came over and got shifted to the right at the last push of the crowd, and thus, we were out of position to catch him. He proceeded to fall through my coworker’s hands and hit my knee and bend it a little backward. I screamed, fell forward, hit my other knee against the barricade, and fell to the ground. Before my coworkers could help me out of the way, I got my head stepped on by a crowd surfer.

They wanted to try and stand me up, but I made them pull me out to the side. Once I calmed down a little, I noticed my knee didn’t hurt, so I tried to stand, but my right knee wouldn’t hold and I fell back down.

An ambulance was called, and the poor paramedics that showed up couldn’t lift my rather large self onto the gurney. I pulled myself up with the barricade enough to get the gurney under me and was wheeled out of the venue, to the cheers of the crowd. That was the first time I ever had a crowd cheer for me.

I ended up missing a week of work due to a hyperextension/sprain of my right knee, and then I was put on light duty for another week. But the venue changed their policy on crowd surfers to where you can once, but if you are caught again, you are kicked out.

Fine Time To Take A Tea Break
Employees, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, New Zealand, Nurses | Healthy | July 24, 2022
I’m a nurse in a busy hospital ward. Each ward has a little kitchen where the tea trolley lives. Each one also has a fridge with basic supplies, including the meal replacement nutrient milkshake bottles that many patients are prescribed because many people in the hospital are a bit malnourished or struggle to eat full meals.

Despite these milkshakes being part of the normal running of the ward, they don’t get automatically restocked by our dedicated ward food staff. The nurses have to call the kitchen to request restocks.

The kitchen is notorious for not picking up the phone, and there is often very little time for us nurses to spend trying to call them.

Day 1: I notice our fridge is getting a little low on drinks. I try calling the kitchen. No one picks up. I don’t get another chance during my shift.

Day 2: Our fridge is really low on drinks. I have to steal a few from the next ward, but they are also running low. I call the kitchen repeatedly. It goes to voicemail every time.

Day 3: There are almost no drinks in the fridge. I dial the kitchen — voicemail. It’s near mealtime after all; they’re busy.

I call again. It doesn’t go through. I redial repeatedly. Nothing.

I call again an hour late. It’s picked up! There’s a voice on the other end, but they’re kind of quiet. I can only pick out a few words. What are they saying?

Voice: “Dignity… duty… respect… relationships…”

They had picked up the phone and left it off the hook, so the ringing wouldn’t disturb them getting a lecture on professionalism.

Meanwhile, our cupboards were bare.

I managed to get through and make a request at about 2:00 pm that day. I finished at 3:00 pm, and I’ve been off since, so who knows if the amount or type of what I requested even turned up with the dinner trolley.

When You Hire A Royal Blue Tang To Answer The Phone
Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Reception, Stupid, USA | Healthy | July 22, 2022
I am pregnant and have noticed reduced movements with my baby, so I call my doctor’s office as they told me to do if I experience any problems. After going through the prompts and requesting to speak with a nurse, this is the conversation I have with the receptionist.

Receptionist: “Thank you for calling [Doctor]’s office. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Full Name]. I’m a patient of [Doctor]. I’m about thirty-two weeks pregnant and have noticed that my baby isn’t moving as much as she normally does. Can I please be transferred to a nurse?”

Receptionist: “Uh, I don’t know. Are you a patient?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a patient of [Doctor].”

Receptionist: “What’s the name and birthdate?”

Me: “[My Full Name], [birthdate].”

Receptionist: “And are you pregnant?”

Me: “Yes, I’m about thirty-two weeks.”

Receptionist: “How far along are you?”

Me: “Thirty-two weeks.”

Receptionist: “And you said you’re pregnant?”

There’s a long pause.

Me: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “And why do you want to speak to a nurse?”

Me: “Reduced fetal movements. I was told to call if I noticed any and want to know what the next steps are.”

Receptionist: “I mean, I guess I can leave a message for a nurse, but I’m not really sure what you want us to do.”

After hanging up, I decided I was just going to go into the ER and make sure everything was okay. Thankfully, a nurse called me immediately after and told me to come in for monitoring. The baby was fine, but I had a very similar conversation with the receptionist when I called after going into labor.

Her Concept Of “Unethical” Is… Just Weird
Bizarre, Employees, Ohio, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Healthy | July 20, 2022
My husband and I have both been diagnosed with severe sinus infections. We go to a local walk-in clinic and the nurse practitioner prescribes us the exact same drugs — amoxicillin and Claritin — because we have similar medical histories and those drugs are generally the normal treatment for sinus infections in the United States. We go to a pharmacy at a major grocery store chain to get the prescriptions filled.

We present the prescriptions to the pharmacy tech on duty.

Pharmacy Tech: “I can’t fill these!”

Me: “Why not?”

Pharmacy Tech: “Because you were both prescribed the exact same medications! It would be unethical for me to fill them!”

Me: “We both have sinus infections, and we have similar medical issues, so the nurse practitioner who prescribed them gave us the same thing.”

The pharmacy tech gets a blank look on her face and she starts to mumble to herself. I finally decide to ask for the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes over.

Pharmacist: *To the pharmacy tech* “Why can’t you put these in to be filled? This is the normal treatment for sinus infections.”

Pharmacy Tech: “But they were both prescribed the same medications! I can’t legally give two people in the same household the same medications!”

Pharmacist: “Where did it say that in any of your training? What would happen if you had two diabetics in the same household who took insulin?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I just assumed that two people in the same household can’t have the same medications. It would be different if they were diabetic because you need insulin to live. You don’t need amoxicillin and allergy medications to live!”

Pharmacist: “These people are obviously in extreme discomfort! Put these in the system to be filled! I will discuss this with you later!”

We ended up getting our prescriptions filled. I later learned from a friend who worked at that same grocery store that the pharmacy tech had always been off mentally and that she caused MANY problems with customers due to her lack of common sense. She was eventually fired after refusing to let a government employee use their insurance plan because she said that it “wasn’t fair” that their copays were so low.

Surf Those Metal Waves… But Be Careful
Concert, Employees, Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Oregon, Portland, Security, USA, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | July 18, 2022
I work security for a music venue, and since I’m one of the older guys, I usually get to roam the floor, but this day was different. I was stationed in the barricade between the crowd and the stage. The crowd started funneling in and filling up the space by the barricade immediately. I noticed that the crowd seemed to be older metal fans, so we didn’t expect it to get too rowdy.

The first act went on and the crowd was headbanging and lightly mosh-pitting along. Well, that didn’t sit well with the singer, so before the last song, he told the crowd to kick it up because security were his friends and they needed to earn their pay. Immediately, a guy crowd surfed to the front. I caught him and let him go.

The singer commented, “That’s what I’m talking about!” and then started their last song.

My coworker and I were almost overrun by crowd surfers, but we kept up until halfway through the song when a crowd surfer with no shirt, slick with sweat, came over and got shifted to the right at the last push of the crowd, and thus, we were out of position to catch him. He proceeded to fall through my coworker’s hands and hit my knee and bend it a little backward. I screamed, fell forward, hit my other knee against the barricade, and fell to the ground. Before my coworkers could help me out of the way, I got my head stepped on by a crowd surfer.

They wanted to try and stand me up, but I made them pull me out to the side. Once I calmed down a little, I noticed my knee didn’t hurt, so I tried to stand, but my right knee wouldn’t hold and I fell back down.

An ambulance was called, and the poor paramedics that showed up couldn’t lift my rather large self onto the gurney. I pulled myself up with the barricade enough to get the gurney under me and was wheeled out of the venue, to the cheers of the crowd. That was the first time I ever had a crowd cheer for me.

I ended up missing a week of work due to a hyperextension/sprain of my right knee, and then I was put on light duty for another week. But the venue changed their policy on crowd surfers to where you can once, but if you are caught again, you are kicked out.

Kittens May Be Too Much For You, Lady
Bizarre, Impossible Demands, USA, Vet | Healthy | July 14, 2022
I work in a veterinary clinic. We have a new client who’s only been coming to our office for a little over a month. However, she has been in three times already and calls almost every day, and she often calls multiple times a day on those days.

She freaks out over everything her kittens do and anything that happens to them. They get diarrhea? Apocalyptic panic. They scratch the furniture and are energetic because they’re kittens? Hysterical crying.

And if we don’t call her back with answers from the vet within twenty minutes of her calling, she calls back and gets upset that no one is responding to her. She once called the local emergency vet in the middle of the night to complain to them that we hadn’t responded to the message she left. We were closed, but that little detail didn’t matter to her.

This past week, she was in with her kittens for a skin issue, and the vet stayed late to see her. We’ve given her a skin cleanser that needs dilution and have explained how to do so: one part cleanser to ten parts water (one tablespoon cleanser plus ten tablespoons water).

Client: “I can’t do this! I don’t understand!”

The tech explains again how to do it, making it very simple and non-technical.

Tech: “And then you put it into a spray bottle and spray the kittens.”

Client: “I can’t! There’s no [Superstore] near my house; I can’t get a spray bottle!”

Starting to get emotional, the client gestures to a bottle on the counter full of spray disinfectant.

Client: “Can I buy that one?”

Receptionist: “No, I’m sorry. That’s the clinic’s disinfectant spray; we can’t sell it to you.”

The client began to cry as if we’d told her we were going to burn down her house. The conversation was repeated multiple times, and the client insisted she had more questions for the doctor, who was in with a late emergency. We’d been closed for an hour, but she refused to leave. Eventually, the tech managed to get her out, but she stood outside for a while, not leaving the property. She did finally seem to be leaving, but we were apparently wrong.

She got in her car but just sat there, staring at the office door. We periodically peered outside, and she was still there each time. And unfortunately, the vet’s very distinct car was parked less than ten feet from the client’s. We realized quickly that she was planning to corner the vet at her car and make more of her demands.

When we finally left, nearly two hours past closing, the staff scattered to their cars quickly, hoping to not get caught by the client (she thinks we’re all basically able to do anything the vet can do), and the vet finally made a beeline for her car. In a miracle moment, the client had turned away to check on the kittens, just long enough for my boss to hop in her car, whip out of the spot, and peel out like her life depended on it.

I’ve seen some really weird stuff working here, but that was the first client I’ve seen wait outside like that to basically stalk the vet.

TMI Am Out Of Here!
Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Pharmacy, Revolting, USA | Healthy Right | July 13, 2022
A customer comes up to me in the pharmacy, drops his underwear, and shows me all his intimate bits covered in some kind of rash.

Customer: “What do I need?”

Me: “A doctor and a sense of boundaries…

Whispering The Opposite Of Sweet Nothings
Jerk, Medical Office, Missouri, Nurses, Saint Louis, USA | Healthy | July 12, 2022
I’m a nurse. I’m required to get my titers drawn, a physical, an eye test, and a hearing test as part of my pre-employment screening for a new out-of-state job. I’m sent to one of the local urgent care centers that handle these requests.

Everything is going well until we get to the hearing test. This is not a fancy hearing test, just a screening where the nurse faces the wall several feet away and whispers words for you to repeat back.

Nurse: “Please cover your left ear and repeat the words I whisper.”

Me: “Ummm, that’s going to be a problem since I won’t have any idea you’re speaking when you do that. I’m deaf on my right side. It would be better to do the left first.”

Nurse: “This is part of the exam you must pass. Are you seriously claiming you can’t hear anything?”

It should be noted that my chart CLEARLY states that I am completely deaf on my right side.

Me: “Yes, I’m deaf on the right side, and with a mask on and your back to me, I won’t be able to hear anything nor read your lips, so it’s rather pointless.”

Nurse: “Well, you have to pass it.”

Me: “Actually, I don’t. It’s noted in my medical record and I have an ADA accommodation already in place. Trying to tell me I have to pass isn’t true. Please just finish the test for the left side and send the doctor in.”

I covered my left ear and stared at the wall until she turned back around, all huffy, because guess what? I couldn’t hear her tell me to switch ears, either! Duh! I passed the left side with no problem.

The doctor came in and said we were all done. She asked if there was anything else I needed and was happy to give me a form letter regarding my latex allergy. She was rather confuzzled by the nurse’s declaration regarding my hearing, or lack thereof, and stated that, of course, that’s not a test you have to pass to get a job as a nurse… especially if it’s already known and documented.

As If Dental Work Wasn’t Already The Worst
Dentist, Hospital, Jerk, Kansas City, Missouri, USA | Healthy | July 10, 2022
During a particularly bad year in my early teens, I had to make several visits to a dental clinic in one of my area’s more affordable hospitals. Typically, these visits were just checkups, but on one occasion, three cavities were discovered in my molars. Due to the work needing to be done and the cost, the dentist broke it up into three procedures. The first two procedures went well — inject the local, numb the mouth, drill out the cavity, insert the filling, and send me home.

The third visit, however, was a bit different.

Not long after the local was injected, I noticed it wasn’t taking effect. I informed the dentist about this, who would go on to perform not one, but five or six additional injections as each time it still failed to numb my jaw. After the final injection, the dentist asked me if my mouth was numb. When I responded, without any slurring or any other audible sign of numbness, that it wasn’t, she turned to my mom, declared that it must be numb by now, and proceeded to get to work.

The pain of having an unanesthetized tooth attacked by a drill isn’t particularly sharp, but it is powerful, extremely present, and most importantly, constant. I attempted to power through it; I was just a kid, after all, and the doc knew what they were doing, right? After a few moments, the doctor stopped, glared at me, and sternly told me to get back up into my seat and to “stop scooting down.”

I was completely unaware of it, but the entire time the drilling had been taking place, I had been slowly inching my way down toward the floor. I guess the dentist assumed that I was being an annoying kid, because the entire time, she never once stopped to question WHY this was happening. And sure enough, after continuing to drill a few more minutes, she stopped again to scold me for scooting down.

I tried to tell her that my mouth wasn’t numb. Her response?

Dentist: “I injected you several times. It’s numb. Stop being difficult.”

And she proceeded to finish the drilling. This time, I made a conscious effort to stay in one place, which must have worked because she finished the procedure without any more complaints.

And after the filling was put in, how did she respond?

Dentist: “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

When the time came for my next checkup, I insisted that we not go back to that dentist. Thankfully, my mom listened.

There Has To Be A Better Way (Or At Least A Cheaper One)
Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medication, Money, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 8, 2022
I have recently seen my gynecologist, who recommends a new birth control to manage my endometriosis. Unfortunately, the closest pharmacy that can fill it is thirty miles away from my home, so I call them before making the trip down there.

Pharmacist Tech: “This is [Pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I’m calling about the prescription that was sent over and want to know how much it will cost before heading down there.”

I give him my information and he checks to see how soon it can be filled.

Pharmacist Tech: “We have it in stock so you can pick it up today.”

Me: “Do you have an estimate of how much it will cost? I was having a hard time figuring out whether my insurance will cover it or not.”

Pharmacist Tech: “It looks like your insurance doesn’t cover it.”

Me: “Okay, so how much will it be out of pocket?”

Pharmacist Tech: “We can figure that out when you pick it up.”

Me: “No. I need to know how much it costs before driving thirty miles one way.”

Pharmacist Tech: “Oh, well, we can also do home delivery.”

Me: “I still need to know the estimated cost before making any decisions.”

Pharmacist Tech: “It’s $2,000.”

I pause for a long moment.

Me: “Please cancel the prescription.”

Pharmacist Tech: “Why?”

Me: “Because I’m not paying $2,000 for birth control!”

I still got a phone call later about it being ready for pickup and had to call again to tell them I didn’t want it anymore.

Give ‘Til It Hurts
Hospital, Maryland, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | July 6, 2022
I was just starting to work as a nurse at a new hospital, and I was still pretty new to everything. I was checking on one of the patients and was surprised to see that his room was much larger than the usual rooms, with only one person in it and a nice view out of a window, as well.

Me: “Oh, wow! Looks like you got the fancy room today. What do you have to do to get one of these?”

Patient: “Well, you know some men would give an arm and a leg for this place. Me, I only had to give a kidney.”

And that’s how I first learned that my hospital gave organ donors extra nice rooms as a thank you for their sacrifice.

“Yes, Ma’am” Me ONE MORE TIME
California, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Job Seekers, USA, Volunteer | Healthy Working | July 4, 2022
I volunteer at a local hospital in the Volunteer Administrative Office. I do a lot of filing and clerical work with prospective volunteers, creating files, organizing paperwork, and making sure everything is in order so the Administrative Manager can get them on board.

Part of becoming a volunteer is to complete two Tuberculosis Skin Tests (TSTs) or have proof of having them within the last year from your doctor.

We have a prospective volunteer who has completed almost everything except the TST test. I call him up to see if he’s still interested. The man answers.

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name], and I’m calling on behalf of the [Hospital] Volunteer Services.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “Are you still interested in volunteering?”

Man: “Yes, ma’am. I had my interview and orientation nearly a month ago, but I haven’t heard from the hospital since.”

Me: “Okay, well, it looks like the only thing missing is your TST test.”

Man: “My what?”

Me: “I’m sorry, your Tuberculosis Skin Test.”

Man: “What’s that?”

Me: “A test you have to have in order to volunteer.”

Man: “Where do I go to get one?”

Me: “You need to complete two. We gave you a sheet of paper in your interview packet—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—that has the hours that Employee Health—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—that has the hours that Employee Health is open to give you free skin tests.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “You need to go there and get both of your tests—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—before you can volunteer.”

I’m beginning to see the pattern here. He talks over the top of me, says the same thing, and doesn’t appear to really be listening or understanding what I’m trying to tell him.

Man: “So, I cannot volunteer without these tests?”

Me: “No, sir, we cannot move forward—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—until you are cleared.”

Man: “Oh, uh, I’ve already had those tests.”

I highly doubt that!

Me: “Oh, good. Then all you have to do is go to your doctor and—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—ask them to print out a sheet. It takes only a few seconds and doesn’t cost anything.”

Man: “He’s in Pakistan. I can’t get those papers.”

Me: “Then you’ll have to retake the tests.”

Man: “I have to retake the tests?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Man: “Why didn’t the lady call me to tell me this?”

Me: “She told you this in the interview and the orientation—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—sir. After that, it’s up to you to—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “—get the shots done and get us the paperwork.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

My eye is twitching by now, and I’m normally very patient, but his interruptions are getting on my last nerve.

Me: “So, get those tests to us, and we’ll get you started volunteering.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am. So, I cannot volunteer unless I get these shots?”

Me: “They’re not shots, sir—”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “They are skin tests.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “And no. You can’t volunteer until you complete them.”

Man: “Yes, ma’am.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

I hung up during his final “Yes, ma’am” and facepalmed into both hands with a sigh nearly deep enough to throw out my back.

He never completed his tests and thus never volunteered.

There Should Be Some Kind Of Test To Own Pets
Bad Behavior, Hypocrisy, Pets & Animals, Stupid, USA, Vet | Healthy | July 2, 2022
I am a veterinarian. I hear all sorts of different reasoning and preferences for why people elect to do or not do certain things to their pets. My job is to inform clients of the pros and cons of different options and make a medical recommendation. After that, I generally respect their decisions even if I disagree. However, this client really took to the cake for making strange decisions.

It was a new client with an adult female cat several years old who had previously received veterinary care but was just moving to a new clinic. I noticed in the records that the cat was intact (unspayed), which is unusual. I decided to investigate.

Me: “I noticed that [Cat]’s records say she is not spayed; is that correct?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Is there any particular reason or concern you have for not spaying [Cat]?”

Client: “Well, I was just concerned about surgery. I just don’t want to put her through unnecessary surgeries, you know?”

Me: “Certainly. Just to check in, are you aware of the increased risk of mammary cancer in unspayed female cats? And are we keeping her away from intact males?”

The client confirms these things and doesn’t seem to want to discuss it more.

Client: “I just didn’t want any surgery…” *pause* “…but, she wasn’t being a good kitty…” *chuckles* “…so we did have her front claws removed.”

Yes, folks. She didn’t want her cat spayed to reduce risk of cancer because of the surgery aspect, but she had the cat surgically declawed. I genuinely did not know what to say. The real kicker to that weirdness? On the way out, the client said to our receptionist that she “just likes [Cat]’s personality more when she’s in heat.”

This Image Is The Chuckle We Needed Today
Funny, Pets & Animals, Stupid, USA, Utah, Vet | Healthy | June 30, 2022
I took a call from a woman wanting to schedule a neuter for her Italian Greyhound. We had a long, rational discussion about anesthesia, pricing, pre- and post-op considerations, etc. I’d entered her and her dog’s information, scheduled the appointment, advised her regarding fasting, and was about to hang up when she just had one more question.

Woman: “Just out of curiosity, do you remove the testicles completely, or is it that new thing I’ve heard about where you just deflate them?”

I managed to answer the question and hang up before I burst out laughing, but I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of our doctor poking the dog’s scrotum with a needle and the dog flying around the room like a balloon

Code “Oh, My God!”
Canada, Health & Body, Hospital, Parents/Guardians, Patients | Healthy Related | June 28, 2022
About thirteen years ago, Dad was in the hospital recovering from surgery. He had cancer, and this was just prior to beginning chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I stopped by to visit him after work, just to check in on him and to see if he needed anything brought from home.

Dad: “You just missed all the excitement! They just called Code Blue on me.”

This means that he had stopped breathing and was unresponsive.

Me: “What? Why are you telling me this?! What happened?”

He had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and he’d managed to pull the call cord as he blacked out. He reported coming back to consciousness with a half-dozen people clustered around him. Apparently, his body had a shortage of a particular nutrient or another, so they had him on an IV to make up the shortfall.

As to why he told me this?

Dad: “I just wondered how you’d react.”

He’s fine… but his sense of humour is still terminal.

How Does This Doctor Sleep At Night?
Canada, Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nova Scotia | Healthy | June 26, 2022
I’ve had sleep problems for my entire life, taking multiple hours and often tears in order to fall asleep every night.

Finally, when I am sixteen and starting to have trouble staying asleep, as well, a teacher of mine convinces my mother to take me to a doctor about it. I have social anxiety and am already an avid reader of this site, so I am nervous going in. I’ve only been to this doctor a few times before, but he is very nice so I am able to convince myself everything will be perfectly fine.

Then, we get to the office only to find out that my doctor isn’t in, and his colleague will be seeing me instead. Slight panic, but nothing too bad yet. I go into the exam room and explain that I’m there to get a reference to a sleep specialist. Easy enough, right? Well, she needs to go through all the exam steps first, but that’s easy. We start off normally, going through my symptoms and then my family history. When she gets to my father’s side, I explain that my mother is single and had me through a sperm bank, so I haven’t the faintest about his medical history. Suddenly, her body language closes off and I start to panic a bit about having said something wrong.

She starts asking more and more questions about my problems staying asleep, which mostly involves waking up long enough to roll over before falling back asleep. I keep reiterating that my real problem is taking no less than an hour to fall asleep every night, which she keeps brushing off. Anxiety levels rising.

Doctor: “Drink some lavender tea and read before bed.”

She says it like that is somehow helpful (and like I haven’t already tried that).

Eventually, she turns to me, places a hand on my knee, and says in the most condescending tone of voice that I’ve heard before or since:

Doctor: “Are sure the problem isn’t that you’re depressed because you have no father figure?”

I kind of blue-screened for a minute, because… what? I managed to stammer out something that I’m pretty sure was a denial, but by that point, I just wanted to get this appointment over with.

She continued talking over me, not listening to what I had to say, and generally being condescending for the rest of the conversation, which my brain has conveniently blurred from my memory. It’s bad enough that I had to fight down tears (I was a bit of a crier).

Unfortunately, she noticed and tried to “comfort” me by saying she knew how hard it was to confront mental issues. She also declared that I had depression, restless leg syndrome, and also probably sleep apnea, which is why I kept waking up (completely glossing over the not-falling-asleep thing, again). I was advised to get treatment “before I died in my sleep,” which is not a reassuring thing to say to anyone. She did write me a reference to an actual sleep doctor, though.

I managed to hold myself together long enough to make it back to my mother’s car, where I proceeded to cry and possibly have an anxiety attack about all that. Thankfully, my next appointment that day was with my therapist, so that all got worked out pretty quickly.

Oh, and when I went to the sleep doctor? I was pretty much immediately diagnosed with a delayed circadian rhythm, likely at least partially due to some medical malpractice that occurred in my infancy. The waking up was likely caused by my body thinking I was just trying to take a nap, apparently. No restless legs, and certainly no sleep apnea. The doctor advised me to take some melatonin and get a job on the night shift once I was old enough.

I now actually get to sleep relatively quickly, and the day after getting my first full night’s sleep was practically life-changing. Who knew it was possible to be energetic and not constantly tired? I guess it all worked out all right in the end, though that lady still makes me nervous about going to new doctors.

They Sure Nose How To Waste Time And Resources
Emergency Services, Health & Body, Impossible Demands, Patients | Healthy | June 25, 2022
I used to work for 911 on an ambulance. People called for all sorts of nonsense. I had a patient call for a nose bleed.

Patient: “Take me to the ER with lights and sirens! That’s what they do on TV!”

Me: “The only reason we do that is if it’s an emergency. Your nose bleed is not an emergency.”

Either You’re Civil Or You’re OUT
Bad Behavior, Instant Karma, Medical Office, USA | Healthy Right | June 24, 2022
Me: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. My name is [My Name]. Can I get your name and date of birth?”

Man: “Oh, for f***’s sake… It’s [Man] and [Date].”

Me: “Can I get you to verify your address, please?”

Man: “Why the h*** do you need that for?”

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to watch your language, sir. I cannot access your chart without three forms of verification.”

Man: “I have a question. You can’t answer a simple f****** question without my address?”

Me: “It depends on what your question is.”

Man: “When was the last time you filled my [medication]?”

Me: “In order to tell you that, I have to access your chart, and in order to do that, I need a third form of verification, like your address or—”

Man: *Screaming* “IT’S [ADDRESS]!”

Me: “Okay, looks like we refilled that for you back in January.”

Man: “That’s what I thought. So, you tell me why the f*** I need to come in and see you before you fill it for me this time?”

Me: “I’m going to ask you again to watch your language. Looking at your chart, it seems like you haven’t been in to see us for over a year. [Doctor] wants you to come in and get checked out first.”

Man: “Then why fill it back in January?”

Me: “They asked you to come in for an appointment then, as well. You made the appointment, they filled your medication, and then you didn’t come in for the appointment.”

Man: “I made an appointment earlier today, but my pharmacy says you refused the refill!”

Me: “[Doctor] is refusing to refill the medication until they see you in person.”

Man: “This is bulls***! Why did you fill it back in January, then?”

Me: “Sir, I’ve already explained that to you.”

Man: “F*** you!”

Me: “I’m going to terminate this call. When you feel like being civil, please call back.”

While we were talking, I typed up a quick note to my coworkers and management letting them know that I was terminating a call in case he called back. One of my managers responded, telling me to document the conversation and that if he did call back, to transfer the patient directly to him.

The man did call back and the girl next to me picked it up. I could hear him cursing at her through the phone. She transferred him to the manager, and I found out later that the man continued to speak that way to the manager. His medication was denied (it was not something vital), his upcoming appointment was canceled, and he was released from his doctor’s care and is not allowed to see any other physician in the clinic.

After All He’s Done For You
Emergency Room, Funny, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners, Texas, USA | Healthy Romantic | June 21, 2022
One evening, while preparing dinner, I sliced my finger really badly. My husband drove me to the emergency room, where I got six stitches in my middle finger. Due to health crisis restrictions, my husband couldn’t be in the room with me and had to stay in the lobby.

After the doctor finished, I had an enormous bandage on my swollen, numbed finger to keep everything in place. I walked into the lobby, where my husband jumped to his feet.

Husband: *In a very soothing, hushed tone* “Hey, how is everything? How are you feeling?”

I showed him my bandaged middle finger.

Husband: *In the same soothing tone* “Oh, that’s really rude.

Clumsiness Occasionally Comes With Perks
Doctor/Physician, Funny, Home, Medical Office, Silly, The Netherlands | Healthy | June 20, 2022
I am a klutz. I bump into things, I cut myself on a daily basis (on anything, from paper to knives), and a lifetime supply of bandages is enough for a month. There is no medical reason for this. I am just inattentive and… a klutz. This has resulted in a very high pain tolerance, so whenever something happens again, I calmly walk to my husband so he can practise his first aid skills again.

This happens when I have a wart underneath my big toe. According to my husband, it must be bothering me, considering the size, so I make an appointment with my general doctor to remove it.

The day before I go to the doctor, I am wearing sandals and I am skipping up some stairs outside. Clumsy me gets stuck behind a stair; my slipper goes under and my feet go over. I feel something start to bleed and I put some tissues in between my toes. I calmly walk home.

I present my new wound to my husband and he gets the first aid kit with a groan. But when he cleans my wound… he finds out I managed to cut a piece of flesh from my toe!

We call the doctor, who gives us instructions to see if anything important got damaged, but it looks like I only cut some callus and the bleeding already stopped. It’s late in the day and the appointment is early in the morning, my husband cleaned my foot very well and I’m not feeling anything, so the doctor changes the appointment from wart inspection to wound inspection.

The next day comes and I indeed only cut callus… and the wart. It was a perfect slice and nothing (well, a tiny bit of skin) got damaged.

Doctor: “You know, if you were scared of the appointment, you could have just told me! You didn’t have to cut the wart off yourself!”

Hey, Look! Puppies! Oh. Wait… Crap.
Animal Shelter, Health & Body, Instant Karma, Pets & Animals, Stupid | Healthy Right | June 19, 2022
I used to work at the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). We had a guy come through and choose a puppy. We started going through the adoption paperwork.

Me: “The pup will need to have her stitches out on [date].”

Man: “Why does she have stitches?”

Me: “She’s been desexed so she can’t have puppies.”

Man: *Annoyed* “I wanted to get a dog that could have puppies! That way all my friends can have my dog’s puppies.”

Me: “That’s not ideal. People can often struggle to find homes for pups.”

He canceled the adoption and said he’d get a dog elsewhere.

A year later, he came in with five puppies that his dog had had, and he couldn’t find homes for them.

It All Started With A Big Thud
Awesome, Coworkers, Health & Body, USA, Warehouse | Healthy Romantic | June 18, 2022
Back when years still begin with the number one, I am working in a warehouse. I’ve just clocked out and am about to head out the door when I hear a sound like something falling, followed by seeing one of the other workers staggering around, dazed, with her forehead bleeding.

Me: “What the [expletive] just happened?!”

A manager comes running over.

Manager: “The shelf fell down and she got hit by the pack of [ceramic product].”

Me: “Oh, no!”

Manager: “Can you take her to the hospital? I don’t want to wait for an ambulance to get out here.”

Me: “Okay.”

In retrospect, that wasn’t smart, but [Manager] and I are both panicking.

Manager: “I’ll help get her in your car.”

Two minutes later, I’m zipping toward the hospital. I arrive ASAP and stick around in the waiting room while my coworker is examined. Thankfully, it is only a concussion. After the hospital clears her, I take her to her home.

I come back the next morning to check on her and then again the next evening after my shift. Rinse and repeat for three days. And of course, since her car is still at the warehouse, I have to give her a lift in when she’s finally allowed to resume work.

On the drive in to work:

Coworker: “You didn’t have to do all that. Why bother? I’m just a nobody.”

Me: “Um, because it was the right thing to do?”

And that’s how I met my wife. We’re still happily married.

As Usual, The Internet Ruins Everything
Current Events, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Medication, USA | Healthy | June 16, 2022
I have a chronic illness that causes me to have respiratory issues. To treat this, I take a certain medication and it generally works well. My doctor will typically just renew my prescription whenever it’s up but wants me to come in every other year for another exam even though I’ve been on the medication for over a decade at this point. It’s never been an issue until I went in for my latest exam and ended up seeing a new doctor since my usual one had a sudden emergency and wasn’t able to see me.

New Doctor: “Okay, [My Name], what brings you in today?”

Me: “I’m just in to get my prescription for [medication] renewed.”

New Doctor: “[Medication]? I’m not going to prescribe that to you. It will not treat [health crisis] no matter what the Internet tells you.”

Me: “It’s not for [health crisis]; it’s for [chronic issue].”

New Doctor: “I just get so sick of these people with Internet MD who think whatever random med of the week is going to solve the problem.”

Me: “Look, I don’t have [health crisis]. I tested before I came in.”

New Doctor: “I’m not stupid. I know your test is negative, but your grandma, or cousin, or nephew, or whoever you are getting it for is positive.”

Me: “Look, when was [health crisis] first observed?”

New Doctor: “2020 in the US.”

Me: “When did I start getting prescribed this?”

He flipped through my chart.

New Doctor: “2006.”

Me: “So, are you thinking that I somehow predicted a pandemic fourteen years early, theorized this medication would help, scammed a prescription for it by faking a chronic issue, stockpiled it for over a decade, and ran out of that stockpile?”

New Doctor: *Long pause* “I’m still not giving you your prescription today.”

And with that, he left the room. I ended up having to come back another day for my normal doctor to give me the new prescription. I brought up what had happened with the new doctor and was told that he had gotten in hot water for getting tricked into giving out prescriptions for one of the Internet’s fake [illness] treatments. But now, he was in hot water for overcorrecting the other way and never prescribing anything that anyone had theorized might treat [illness]. I don’t know if “hot water” ever translated to consequences, but I will see the next time I need to renew my prescription.

Casual Racism Will Make You Sick
Bigotry, Health & Body, Jerk, Medical Office, Patients | Healthy Right | June 14, 2022
Early in the health crisis, in 2020, I had a patient checking in. I was asking the newly minted [illness] questions. Have you been around anyone positive? Any flu-like symptoms? And so on.

Patient: “I haven’t been to any Chinese restaurants lately, if that’s what you’re asking.” *Laughs*

Me: “Nope, not asking where you had dinner, just if you’re sick.”

His wife tried to brush it off, but he kept telling me to lighten up, and I just kept staring with a glazed look and kept asking the questions until I got a satisfactory answer.

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Heal
Blood Donation, Inspirational, Maryland, USA | Healthy | June 12, 2022
I donate blood every few months; I know there’s a need for it, and my blood type is the universal donor.

Once, during a donation, a woman comes in and asks questions about everything. I figure it must be her first time. There’s nothing wrong with that; she just seems a little nervous. The phlebotomist hooks up her IV, and her bed is next to mine.

Woman: “So, who are you donating for?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Woman: “My husband is having an operation, so I’m giving blood in case he needs it.”

Me: “Oh, I see. No, I’m not donating for anyone in particular.”

Woman: “You’re not?”

Me: “Nope. Just… whoever needs it, I guess.”

The woman looks around the room, shocked. The other donors are now listening to the conversation.

Woman: “So, all of you are just donating, what, out of the goodness of your hearts?”

She started laughing and then quickly stopped. She didn’t intend for the comment to sound mean; it just genuinely had never occurred to her that blood banks are full of blood from people who donate just to help others.

No Soup For You! Part 6
Bizarre, Canada, Hospital | Healthy | June 10, 2022
I work as a door screener in my small town’s hospital. The hospital is small, too, and doesn’t even have vending machines, let alone a public cafeteria. From the entrance, you either take a right to enter the Emergency Department or take a left to reach the outpatient laboratory for blood tests.

One day, a man comes in needing to fill out some paperwork. He is dressed in business casual clothing and has a stylish messenger bag. I direct him to the doctor’s offices and see him as he exits a few minutes later.

After he turns the corner out of sight, he turns around and jogs back to the front door. He fishes around in his bag for something and then produces…

A plastic container full of soup.

Man: “Is there a microwave I can use to heat this up?”

After a moment’s stunned silence, I stammer out that we don’t have any easily accessible and he nods, puts his soup away, and heads off again.

I still wonder what sort of person would think that a hospital would heat up some random person’s soup for them, in a global health crisis, no less!

We’d Be Seriously Pee-ved
Colorado, Doctor/Physician, Hypocrisy, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | February 23, 2021
I am seeing my primary care physician.

Doctor: “You really need to start taking a multivitamin.”

The following year, I see them again.

Doctor: “Why on earth are you taking a multivitamin?! All you’re doing is making your pee expensive.”

Well, When You Put It Like That
Call Center, Current Events, Government, Stupid, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2021
I work in a call center for my state’s unemployment office. I have a caller who is unable to work due to an asymptomatic case of that nasty disease that has defined 2020. I’m walking him through the documentation I need to qualify him and get him his unemployment. One of the items we need is a doctor’s note saying the individual can’t work.

Caller: “So… you want me to go into a public doctor’s office to get a note that says I shouldn’t go into public?”

Ask Your Optician If Night Vision Is Right For You
Optometrist/Optician, Patients, Stupid, USA | Healthy | February 20, 2021
I work in an optician’s office and we have a patient come in saying that they can’t see through the glasses they recently bought.

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Patient: “I have a problem with these glasses; my vision isn’t clear at night.”

Me: “Oh, and how about day time? Are you having problems with reading or distance?”

Patient: “My vision is fine during the day, but everything is dark at night and when I drive through a tunnel.”

Me: “Does your vision get blurry?”

Patient: “No, you’re not understanding. I can’t see far at night with these glasses! Everything is dark! It’s fine during the day, but when it’s dark, I can’t see everything clearly.”

My colleague heard this conversation and quickly jumped in. She had to explain that vision is limited for everyone at night because it’s dark, and no one has night vision. The prescription was fine and we had the health of his eyes checked out, which came out all clear.

It’s been five years but I still think about that man.

Some People Are Just Born For It
Australia, Doctor/Physician, Funny Names, Medical Office, Optometrist/Optician, Queensland | Healthy | February 19, 2021
When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.

His name? Doctor Seewright.

His occupation? Optometrist.

You can’t make this stuff up.