You Need To Be A Customer To Get Customer Service
Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | June 29, 2021
The night has wound down to the end of our business day half an hour after we lock the doors. The other employees and I are doing our last-minute tasks. I’m vacuuming the carpet in front of the door, and I hear the door rattle loudly and look up in surprise. There is a woman outside, gesturing at me.

I turn off the vacuum cleaner so we can talk. She sounds like she can’t believe she has to say this out loud.

Customer: “Um, hello! Hi there! Your door is locked.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I know. We closed at 10:00 pm.”

She gets a surprised look on her face. I give her my best apologetic look and point to our hours, which are posted on the door. She looks down as if the sign magically appeared. I can actually watch her face transition from confused to a growing rage.

Customer: “I can’t believe it! This is horrible customer service!”

She actually flips the bird at me. My niceness is gone now that she has crossed the line.

Me: “Customer service stops at closing, lady.”

She made an inarticulate screeching noise and stormed off. My coworker and the closing manager thought my last line was hysterical, so I didn’t get in trouble.

Anchors Aweigh… And Aweigh, And Aweigh…
Dentist, Florida, Health & Body, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Military, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | June 26, 2021
I was a new sailor, getting ready to report to my first ship. My wife and I had driven all the way across the country to the base where my ship was home-ported, so we were totally unfamiliar with the area. We got a hotel room while we looked for apartments, but the next day I got really sick. Two of my teeth on my upper jaw hurt so much I couldn’t sleep, so we grabbed my medical and dental records — this was a long time ago, when sailors hand-carried their records between assignments — and managed to find our way to the local Navy hospital. I checked into the dental office, and they got me in very quickly because I was obviously in a lot of pain.

The dentist, a Navy Lieutenant, poked and prodded a bit, had an x-ray taken, and then told me there was nothing wrong with my teeth. She said I probably had a raging sinus infection and had one of the nurses take me to the emergency room on the ground floor.

An hour or so later, I was diagnosed with a sinus infection, given a paper prescription, and sent to the on-site pharmacy. I grabbed a number and waited, still dazed by the constant pain in my face from the infection. My wife had to tell me when they called my number, and she escorted me to the pharmacy window. The pharmacy tech rattled off a bunch of stuff about the medicines I wasn’t coherent enough to follow, but I did make out that I needed to start taking them right away.

Fine. No problem. We sat back down and I read the labels. The largest bottle said I had to take four pills right away. I staggered to the water fountain in the lobby and swallowed one of everything, plus four of the pills from the big bottle. I walked back to where my wife was sitting, and she started putting the bottles of pills in her purse, giving each bottle a quick look to see if any needed to be refrigerated. Then, she paused and said, “Oh, f***!”

She dragged me up to the prescription drop-off window and hollered for help. An older man came to see what was wrong, and my wife showed him the large bottle and my ID card. The pharmacy tech turned white as a sheet and said, “Oh, f***!”, and then called for a gurney and a doctor.

The next couple of hours were a blur of activity I don’t remember much about, ending with me admitted overnight for observation. It seems the pharmacy tech who’d handed me my pills had also grabbed a bottle intended for another patient — the large bottle. I had taken a quadruple dose of a major blood-pressure medication and my blood pressure was dangerously low by the time the ER managed to get me hooked up to an EKG.

Even in military medicine, almost killing the patients is generally contraindicated. I recovered fine, but there was a major investigation at the hospital, and the pharmacy tech who handed me the wrong pills ended up demoted or transferred someplace unpleasant — perhaps both. The pharmacy at that hospital changed their standard operating procedures to require careful verification of the name on every label and to cross-check every prescription issued with the patient’s medical record.

That’s how the US Navy nearly got me killed before I set foot aboard my first ship.

You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another, Part 2
Current Events, England, Health & Body, Instant Karma, Jerk, Pharmacy, Revolting, Strangers, UK | Right | June 23, 2021
I’m not feeling great and I go to my local large pharmacy. I’m masked up and keeping my distance; unfortunately, this woman isn’t. She looks like she is wandering around aimlessly, but she keeps getting in front of me, indecisively picking up everything or right behind me, impatiently reaching across me.

As I said, I’m not feeling great, and the constant rudeness is getting more and more on my nerves. She ignores all my requests for distance and I eventually cuss her out, so she stays away.

Feeling no better, I get all my medicine, food, and drinks and stand in line to pay. It’s not long before the woman joins the line behind me, no surprise standing way too close.

Me: “You need to back off. Give me some space.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Move back and stay back.”

Customer: “Or what?”

I’m not proud of this, but as she spat out the sentence, the pain in my stomach doubled. Without much control, my gaseous medical calamity revealed itself, silently but oh, so noxiously.

The thing about a man in his thirties who has a protein-rich diet with a particular interest in real ale is that this would be a particularly bad event on its own, even if I wasn’t also feeling so unwell.

The woman being so close felt its full force and coughed herself away and out of the shop.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t bear to look the cashier in the eye and had to leave my purchases. Luckily, I managed to get most of what I needed from another store.

I thankfully got better very quickly. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn’t lie, it was a really effective way to deal with these idiots.

Related:
You’ll Back Off One Way Or Another

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 46
Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Stupid, USA | Right | June 21, 2021
We close at 8:00 pm on weekdays. On this particular day, we aren’t completely finished cleaning, so we close our gate and keep cleaning. A man comes up to our closed gate.

Customer: “Hello!” *Knocks on the gate* “Hello, I need help!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we have just closed, but the front store is still open. They can help you.”

Customer: “No, they aren’t a pharmacist. I need a pharmacist.”

Me: “You can come back tomorrow morning; we closed at eight.”

Customer: “But you are still here. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Sir, first of all, my gate is closed so I can’t even see you, just as you can’t see me. Second of all, I’m off the clock. You can come back tomorrow when we open at nine.”

The guy walks off in a huff and I hear another customer, probably a friend of his:

Customer’s Friend: “Why are they closed?”

Customer: “I don’t know, ugh!”

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 45
Hardware Store, Ignoring & Inattentive, USA | Right | March 11, 2021
Usually, when we close or are close to closing, we let customers know so they can hurry with their purchase and leave. Most of them are understanding and kind about it, while some are either rude and argue or are completely oblivious.

We are a few minutes to close and the open light has already turned off. This family of four walks in and I greet them with the usual spiel.

Me: “Hello! Just to let you know, we are closing very soon. We do recommend hurrying with your purchase. Please let us know if you have any questions.”

They nod and smile at me, saying nothing, and continue back. We have sliding doors, so after they enter, the manager turns them off and locks them. I should note that we can unlock and open them ourselves at will. We have another customer besides the family who quickly finishes their purchase and leaves. However, we can’t finish anything until the family leaves. I keep an eye on the clock. One minute after close, two, three… it keeps going. I keep radioing to my coworkers, who can only hear me through earpieces.

Me: “Are they done yet? We closed five minutes ago.”

Coworker: “They’re still here.”

Manager: “They need to hurry up. We’ve been closed.”

Coworker: “I will tell them again.”

This continues until it is ten minutes after close. Each time we let them know to hurry, they say they will be done quickly. I call lies now. After ten minutes, they are visible to me and the front door and they are still looking around. Then, the father gets a call and takes it. That’s when we realize they are killing time. We are all fed up, and my coworker walks up to them.

Coworker: “You need to leave if you’re just browsing. We closed ten minutes ago and need to finish closing so we can go home.”

Their eyes grew wide and they apologized and hurried out of the store. The kids had no idea what was going on, from what I saw, but the adults were nearly running out of the store. We all finished closing and left for the night. I would be lying if I said I did not have a drink at home that night. How can some people be so oblivious, even if we told them?

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 44
Ignoring & Inattentive, Mall, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Retail, USA | Right | January 8, 2021
Our store is located in a mall that doesn’t open until 10:00 am, so the store doesn’t open until then, except for specific sales for cardholders. But people still walk around the mall before 10:00, so we keep our gate down until about 9:55 so people don’t come in early. Sometimes, our gate will be open just far enough to crouch under, but obviously only for employees to come in and out.

It’s about 9:40 am. I am opening registers — which involves counting all the money in them — and a coworker is on the other side of the room stocking shelves. Our store is rather big, so if you’re at the registers or where my coworker is, you can’t see the store entrance.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a person walking into the room. I look up to see that it’s not an employee but some woman I’ve never seen. Both my coworker and I stare at her, speechless that someone climbed in under our gate. After what feels like way too long, I speak up, nervous since I have a drawer full of cash open in front of me.

Me: “Um, excuse me, but we don’t open for another twenty minutes.”

Customer: “Can’t I just look around until you open?”

I am trying to be as professional as possible.

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Coworker: “No! Get out!“

The woman seemed absolutely shocked and left without a word. She came back about forty minutes after open and wouldn’t make eye contact with either of us as she shopped.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 43
Australia, Bad Behavior, Retail | Right | December 28, 2020
We have just opened a new store. Most of the departments are set up except for one section which is basically being used to store stock that has not yet been put out. The area is mostly walled off with two entry points that have been cordoned off with piles of stock-filled cartons, no-entry signs, staff-only signs, and tape across any openings.

The owners want to get the store up and running as quickly as possible but know that this area will hold our most fragile glass and China items, so they want to keep both staff and customers safe while it is being set up.

I am working near the end of the display wall when I notice some of the piled cartons moving and about to topple on me. I quickly jump up to move the cartons back when I hear a squeal. I look around the cartons to see an old lady trying to squeeze herself between the cartons and the end of the wall. The gap is probably eight inches wide; she’s pulled off the tape.

Me: “I’m sorry, but you can’t come into this area; it’s for staff only.”

Woman: “I want to shop in here.”

She is still trying to push through.

Me: “This area is not open for shopping.”

Woman: “I told you to let me in! I am a customer who wants to shop.”

Me: “I can’t let you in because this area is not set up and is too hazardous to have customers in here.”

Woman: “What is that supposed to mean?”

Me: “It’s too dangerous, which is why it’s closed off. This area is not open yet.”

Woman: *Yelling* “HOW DARE YOU OPEN A STORE WHEN IT’S NOT COMPLETELY SET UP?!”

She stomped off.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 42
Current Events, Germany, Jerk, Library | Right | November 19, 2020
I work at a public library. The DMV has just moved next door due to their office being renovated. Since both they and the library belong to the city administration, we both have the city logo on our front door. This seems to confuse people, and they enter the library while looking for the DMV on a regular basis.

I’ve just closed the front door behind one of our maintenance guys as a woman with the stereotypical entitled look approaches. She stops right in front of the door when they won’t open and starts reading our opening hours, as well as the sign posted saying that you need to call ahead before visiting because of visitor limitations due to the current health crisis.

Foolishly, I think she’ll recognize that we won’t open until almost an hour later, but she spots me and starts knocking on the glass. We usually just point to the opening hours and wait for them to go, but then I remember that my boss told me about a phone call she had earlier that day and that she’s waiting for some kind of inspector, so I open the door.

Woman: “Finally! I need to deregister my car since I’m moving next week.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but this is the wrong building. The DMV is—”

Woman: *Interrupting* “—next door, I know. I’ve just been there. But they gave me this ticket and said it’ll be about an hour wait! Can you believe that? So I wanted to stay here until I can go back and sort this out.”

This isn’t an unreasonable request… if we were already open.

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re not open for another hour today.”

Woman: “Oh, that’s not a problem. I can stay here, right?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t allow you to be in the building as long as we’re still closed. You’d need to call ahead anyway due to the heal—”

Woman: *Huffs* “Well, where the f*** am I supposed to go, then? I thought this was a library!

Me: “There is a nice café just down the road. Maybe you’d like to wait there?”

Woman: *Huffs again* “How useless. At least you could give me some of those papers to make up for that!”

She gestures to our magazine rack.

Me: “I’m sorry, but those are for loan only. I can’t give them to you if you aren’t a registered member of the library, and especially not for free.”

Woman: “Oh, my God!”

She storms off.

Woman: “How useless!”

I locked the doors behind her and escaped to my office, out of sight from the front door. Well, at least she wore a mask?

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 41
Bad Behavior, Grocery Store, Instant Karma, Iowa, USA | Right | November 15, 2020
I work in the meat department of a grocery store. It is 9:00 pm, we have just closed, and my coworkers and I are cleaning up and tearing down the equipment for the night.

We notice there is still one lady wandering the aisles, but we think nothing of it as there are often one or two customers finishing up their shopping at that time. At 9:15, I look up to see the lady standing at the counter expecting to be served. My assistant manager and I look at each other and he sighs.

Assistant Manager: “Ma’am, unfortunately, the meat counter has closed.”

Customer: “I want [items].”

Luckily, all she wants are a couple of things and we haven’t yet covered up the meat case for the night.

After she walks away, we continue cleaning. Fast forward to 9:45. An assistant taps me on the shoulder and points towards the aisles. The lady is still wandering around. At this point, it is getting ridiculous, but unfortunately, due to company policy, we are not allowed to ask a customer to leave as long as they enter the store before nine. Apparently, she entered right as the grocery assistant was locking the door.

At ten, the grocery assistant stops by to tell an amazing story:

Grocery Assistant: “The lady finally got around to checking out, halfway through the cashier’s computer auto-shutoff at ten, exactly one hour after we closed. None of us have ever experienced this as the cashier system has never been left on that long before.”

Me: “So what did they do?”

Grocery Assistant: “We’re not allowed to turn the system back on until the next day, so there was nothing we could do! They had to tell the lady that she would not be able to get her groceries that she spent an hour after we closed shopping for. She had a tantrum, screaming about how she has to go to [Big Box Store], and swearing at us all.”

I personally don’t believe in Karma, but if it does exist, this is a perfect example. As I was leaving, she was still in the parking lot bawling, with the assistant there trying to calm her down.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 40
Canada, Deli, Grocery Store, Ignoring & Inattentive, Ontario | Right | October 1, 2020
It is almost nine pm. I’m doing the last of the cleaning before I go home.

Customer: “I’d like a chicken strip meal with rice.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the hot counter is closed for the night.”

Customer: “Okay, then, I’ll just have the strips.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but the counter is closed. There is no hot food available at all.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know there was no food?! You should make it clearer!”

I look at the sign stating it closes at eight and then at the dark, empty counter.

Me: “I’ll be sure to pass that on, sir.”

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 39
California, Grocery Store, Jerk, USA | Right | August 13, 2020
The store I work at closes at 11:00 pm. Even though it’s been like that for years, people still show up at the last minute. Many times, we’ve had to turn people away because we’re closed and ready to go home. It’s a small store, so all the registers are right next to the front door. It’s 11:10, so, of course, we have already turned the sliding door off. I am pulling the very last cash drawer when suddenly someone starts forcing the doors open.

Customer: “Can I get a bottle of booze?”

Me: “No, sir, we closed ten minutes ago.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because we close at 11:00.”

Customer: “Since when?”

Me: “Six years ago.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know you were closed?”

Me: “You had to forcibly open the sliding doors that were turned off.”

Customer: “Whatever. You’re a b****, anyway.”

Me: “I’m okay with that. You still need to leave.”

Customer: “Fine.”

He mumbled something about bad customer service on his way out.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 38
Jerk, Restaurant, USA | Right | July 27, 2020
I work as a host at a restaurant located in a high-end clothing store. Because of our location, we cannot stay open later than the store. However, this never stops guests from wanting to sit and order dinner right when we are set to close.

A mom and her two young daughters come up and ask to look at the menu.

Mom: “What time are you open until?”

Me: “Our last seating is at 8:30 pm.”

Daughter #1 : “That’s when our bedtime is!”

Mom: “Well, we still have some shopping to do, so why don’t we do that and come back?”

Daughter #2 : “We should get here right when they close!”

Cue my internal screaming!

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 37
Australia, Perth, Retail, Stupid, Western Australia | Right | July 15, 2020
I have been recently hired to work at a new store opening at my local shopping centre. The other new employees and I are all setting up the store — stocking shelves and setting up displays. We have yet to open and we have huge signs on display in our windows advertising the grand opening.

A guy walks up to one of the signs, reads the sign, moves along to next sign, reads that, and then opens the door.

Customer: “Hey, are you guys open?”

Supervisor: “No, we open next Thursday. It’s on the sign.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I read them, but I thought I’d come inside and see if you were open anyway.” *Leaves*

Supervisor: “Seriously?!”

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 36
Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Restaurant, Seattle, USA, Washington | Right | July 8, 2020
I work in a rather popular restaurant. Our lobby has closed at 9:00 pm and it’s around 9:30 pm with some customers still sitting in the restaurant, finishing the meals they ordered before we closed. There are bright red signs on both entrances with big words saying “Dining Room Closed.” Because there are customers still eating, we cannot lock the doors.

A bus has just pulled into the parking lot and two girls open the door and half-step in the doorway.

Girl #1 : “Can we come in?”

Coworker: “If you need to use the restroom, yes. However, our dining room is closed.”

Girl #1 : “Oh, we wanted food.”

Coworker: “Well, since the kitchen is still up and running for drive-thru orders, we can let you order, but it would have to be to go.”

Girl #2 : “So, we can’t eat in here?”

Coworker: “No, sorry. As our doors say and as I already mentioned, the seating area is closed.”

Girl #2 : “Well, why do they get to sit in here?!”

She is referring to the customers finishing their meals in the seating area.

Coworker: “They were here before we closed.”

The girls agree to take an order to go and wave in the rest of the people from their bus. About twenty to thirty teenage girls are now packed in our lobby. They all order food and aren’t out of there for about twenty minutes. Because of the large number of orders, the kitchen has to pretty much restart an hour of cleaning they already finished and I have to clean areas of the lobby again.

After they leave, I get a look of annoyance on my face and turn to a coworker who was hanging out and not on the clock.

Me: “What part of ‘we’re closed’ is so difficult for people to understand?”

Coworker #2 : “You think people would know by now.”

This is not the first time something like this has happened and will not be the last.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 35
Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Non-Dialogue, Restaurant, Stupid, USA | Right | July 1, 2020
It’s 10:10 pm, and I’m managing a fast food restaurant that closes at 10:00 pm. A few minutes ago, I locked all the doors and turned off all the exterior lights, the road sign, the dining room, and the drive-up menu board.

A car pulls on the lot. A customer gets out of her car, walks up to the vestibule-type entry, yanks on the door, and finds it locked. She walks to the other side of the vestibule, yanks on that door, and finds it locked. She walks around the building, to the door on the other side and — you guessed it — finds it locked.

She then proceeds to walk up to the drive-up window, bangs on it until I come over, and then asks, “Are you open?”

Jumping Into This Relationship With Both Feet… Sort Of
Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Farm, Funny, Health & Body, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 28, 2022
I grew up on a farm. In a freak accident when I was about thirteen, I ended up losing most of my left foot. By the time I reach twenty-five, I have gotten used to the amputation; I could still walk, even though I had a slight limp, and with shoes or boots on, it’s impossible for other people to see that half of my foot is missing. That said, I’ve always been a bit self-conscious about it, so I don’t take my shoes off around other people or tell the story very often.

Sometime around my twenty-fifth birthday, I meet a woman and we start dating. A few weeks later, I take her home to meet my family, and while helping out with the farm chores, another freak accident happens and the tip of my right middle finger gets cut off. My family and my girlfriend take me to the hospital, and when we get home, she admits that she was panicking.

Girlfriend: “Oh, my God, that was crazy. I know farming can be dangerous, but I’ve never actually seen anything like that. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll be okay. It hurts, but the meds help.”

Girlfriend: “How can you be so calm about this? I’m completely freaked out and I’m not even the one who lost a finger.”

Me: *Joking* “Well, I’ve done worse, so a finger isn’t too bad.”

Brother: “Yeah, [My Name] is getting kind of used to things going missing by now.”

Girlfriend: “What do you mean?”

Brother: “His foot, and now his finger.”

Girlfriend: “Your foot? What does that mean?”

Brother: “You never told her about your foot, [My Name]?”

Me: “You’ve seen me barefoot, haven’t you?”

Girlfriend: “Apparently not? I mean, I know you limp, but I always thought that was just how you walk.”

Me: “All right, then. Do you want me to tell you the story first and then show you my foot, or show you my foot first and then tell the story?”

She decided to hear the story first, so I told her and then showed her my feet. She ended up taking the whole thing really well, and we’re still together a year later, so I think she’s the one.

We’re So Exhausted On Your Behalf
Bad Behavior, Current Events, Health & Body, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Security | Healthy | February 25, 2022
The lack of support from security at my hospital is insane. We have limited visitation due to rising health crisis cases.

Once, a whole family showed up when a patient was really only allowed one person. On top of it, they refused to follow the masking rules. How they got by screening, I’ll never know. Even if they wore masks downstairs, there’s no way a whole group should’ve been let up.

And when staff confronted them on the floor, they threatened to get violent with the nurses. When security finally showed up, they talked to the family for maybe ten minutes and didn’t even escort them out, saying, “They promised to leave in five minutes.” What a joke.

My favorite is [health crisis]-positive patients refusing to stay in their rooms and threatening to walk the halls to give everyone their illness, coughing in your face if you argue with them.

Then, there was an old man refusing to pull up his mask when asked, saying, “Honey, I would if I could,” rolling his eyes, and walking away. Surely, it’s more uncomfortable and inconvenient to wear it improperly?

I have more stories than I could possibly recount.

Make Things Easier On Yourselves, Folks!
Australia, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, New South Wales, Patients, Stupid | Healthy | February 25, 2022
I work in a pathology collection centre where we collect blood and other delightful bodily fluids and emissions. Sometimes the doctor requests that a patient fast in preparation for their blood test for a variety of reasons, and company procedure has certain requirements for the patient to be “correctly” fasting. For example, the patient must fast for more than X hours but not more than X hours, and they can only have water and nothing else. As always, I don’t make the rules; I only enforce them.

This elderly patient presents late in the afternoon with his referral from his general practitioner, and he wants to have the blood test collected. I inquire about whether he had fasted and he hasn’t, so I explain to him that he has to fast, for how long, the consequences of not doing it “correctly”, etc. He isn’t happy but seems to accept that it has to be that way as that’s what the doctor wants.

He seems to have a little trouble understanding me, so I explain it to him a few times, write it down in bullet-point format, and give him the little handouts we have with slightly more detailed patient instructions, as well. He leaves, and I’m satisfied that he understands as I’ve explained it about five times. All in all, I’ve worked with him for about fifteen to twenty minutes.

The patient comes in the next morning around mid-morning and I ask him what time he last had anything to eat or drink other than water. The answer he gives me means that he has exceeded the maximum fasting time.

Me: “You’ve gone too long now and your results could be affected. Are you sure you want to go ahead? I wrote this all down for you. Didn’t you look at what I wrote?”

Patient #1 : “No, I didn’t bother. Just do it.”

Me: *Facepalm*

In addition to this exchange, we often have this conversation with our fasting patients.

Me: “What time last night did you have something to eat or drink other than water?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, yes, last night.”

Me: “What time?”

Patient #2 : “Dinner time.”

Me: “What time was dinner?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, around six.”

Me: “Do you think you could give me the time to the closest half hour?”

The patient rolls their eyes, exasperated.

Patient #2 : “No, I didn’t look at the clock! Just make it six o’clock!”

Me: “You haven’t had anything since then?”

Patient #2 : “Oh, I had dessert at about ten o’clock.”

Or:

Patient #2 : “I just had a cup of tea/coffee this morning.”

Another fun one:

Patient #3 : “I’m usually difficult to get blood from.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Have you had much water today?”

Patient #3 : “No, I don’t drink water.”

I have to admit though, my favourite response to the last one was, “No, I don’t drink water because fish f*** in it!”

Stick a fork in me, folks, because I am so done.

At Least SOMEONE Is Looking Out For This Dog
Bigotry, Cincinnati, Jerk, Ohio, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | February 22, 2022
I am a veterinarian. On the day before Thanksgiving, I have an owner bring their older dog in for a mass on her foot that grew very quickly over the past few days and seemed very irritating as the dog was licking at it. Off the bat, this makes me think of something like a local infection and/or trauma. I recommend taking a small sample of it with a needle to view under a microscope, either in-clinic or by sending it out to a lab, for more information. It starts to go downhill here, as the owner informs me that he is a human physician, and he appears to have some opinions on what should be done instead. I don’t think it helps that I am a young recently graduated female veterinarian, and this owner is an older male physician.

Me: “Taking this sample can tell us whether there is an infection or if there is truly something more concerning like a growth or cancer.”

Owner: “I don’t think I want to do all that. She is an older dog, and I just want it removed, whatever it is.”

Me: “While that is a fair goal, surgery may not be the best solution to this. Even if it is cancer, that area can be hard to remove large masses from because there is so little tissue on the limbs.”

He starts to go into medical jargon about healing, and we go back and forth a few times. I support different owners with their goals and their right to make decisions for their pets so long as they are informed, but I don’t think jumping to surgical removal of this mass is in the dog’s best interest. He eventually concedes to us taking a sample, which I do, and I get a pus-like material that makes me even more suspicious of infection. When I go to explain this:

Owner: “Well, if it is an abscess, you can just take her in the back and drain it with a scalpel blade!”

This is also something I would not want to do immediately, especially in animals who do not sit still like humans and without appropriate pain control. Since our in-clinic materials for evaluating the sample were not working, I told him that I would send the sample out to a lab and that we would hear back with results in about three to five business days, possibly longer with a holiday tomorrow.

I sent the dog home with anti-inflammatories for comfort and a cone to keep her from traumatizing the area in the meantime. The owner was so fixated on having the mass “just removed” that on the way out, he scheduled a surgery for two weeks from then. The whole appointment left me exhausted, but the icing on the cake really came over the next two weeks.

I got the results back about three business days later — six calendar days — and called the only number we had on file for this owner. No one answered, so I left a message explaining that the results were consistent with an infection, that no cancer was seen, and that I was sending them an electronic prescription for an antibiotic. I also told them to call back and let us know how [Patient] was doing.

We heard nothing back about this dog until the next week when the owners got an automatic reminder for surgery drop-off the next day. The owner’s WIFE called us, upset, and asked why her dog had a surgery scheduled. When we reviewed the appointment and explained that it had been scheduled by her husband, the wife got irritated and told us to cancel it, because — shocker — the antibiotic got rid of the mass. She also snipped about how it took a week to get the results back.

In summary, he told me how to do my job (incorrectly), didn’t communicate to his spouse about the dog, didn’t update us about how the dog was doing or respond to a phone call, and complained about getting results back within the estimated timeframe during a holiday week. Well, at least the dog is better

The Human Body Is A Shocking Wonder
Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, School, Students, USA | Healthy | February 19, 2022
WARNING: INJURY

This happened many moons ago, when I was in seventh grade.

The bell rings signifying the end of lunch. In my haste to get back to my classroom, I end up trying to jump over a bench instead of going around it, falling sideways, and having all of my ninety-six pounds land directly on my left wrist. I pop up and head for class, making it in with about one second to spare before I’d be marked late. I happen to be sitting in the front row.

The teacher spends the next minute writing things on the blackboard, and we all start taking notes. When he turns around, he sees me.

Teacher: “[My Name], leave immediately and go see the nurse.”

Me: “Why? I’m fine.”

Teacher: “Do it right now.”

Me: “If you say so.”

I put my stuff back in my backpack, mutter something under my breath, and reluctantly head for the nurse’s office. Yeah, my left wrist is hurting a bit, but I just fell on it. It’s probably sprained or something. I take my watch off it and transfer it to my right wrist, figuring that’ll help.

When I arrive…

Nurse: “Sit down and don’t move. I’m calling your parents. They’ll take you to the hospital.”

Me: “What the h***? I don’t need a hospital!”

Nurse: “Yes, you do! Look at your wrist!”

I took a look. The bone was almost poking through the skin.

The doctor said the break looked like it had been cut with a laser. Thankfully, the teacher and the nurse noticed right away that my wrist was broken, even if I didn’t!

The Fluffiest Fraud
Australia, Fraud, Impossible Demands, Insurance, Liars/Scammers, Vet | Healthy | February 16, 2022
I work as a vet. Our computer system is set up so that we can submit our clients’ insurance claims for their visits directly to their insurer — just a few clicks to submit the notes and the invoice, minimal hassle for everyone. We don’t have any way of knowing whether or not the claim gets accepted or rejected unless the client lets us know.

Client: “The claim for Fluffy’s [condition] got rejected.”

Me: “Ah, that’s a bugger. We had discussed that it might not get through because it would probably be considered pre-existing, but at least we gave it a go and know for the future.”

Client: “Yeah, sure, but what did you write in the submission claim? Like, the wording?”

Me: “I just submitted my clinical record. There aren’t any notes we write in addition to that.”

Client: “But what did you say Fluffy had?”

Me: “[Condition]. Which is what he has.”

Client: “Do you think you could resubmit it but write that he has [similar condition, which has similar symptoms but is treated differently]?”

Me: “Uh, no.”

Client: “Why not? It’s easy; just change a couple of words and it’s all good. Then it might get approved.

Me: “[Client], I will explain this very clearly to you. The clinic system locks the records after a certain time frame because they are classed as legal documents. Any changes to said documents after the fact would be grounds for me to face disciplinary action from my professional regulator. And very simply, what you are asking me to do is commit insurance fraud.”

Client: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Uh, yes, definitely fraud.”

Client: “So, you can’t do anything to get around it?”

Me: “No. I like my job. I’m not risking my licence.”

Client: “So, there’s really nothing you can do about this, then.”

Me: “[Client], stop asking. The answer is no. If you still don’t like it, you’re welcome to see one of my colleagues, but they will tell you the same thing, and your insurer already has the info anyway.”

Client: “…”

He wasn’t a client of ours for much longer. I can’t say he’ll be missed. Good luck and apologies to the next clinic who ended up with him.

Thanks For The Double Dose Of Guilt
Employees, Jerk, Medication, Pharmacy, Sweden | Healthy | February 13, 2022
I take a very expensive medicine. Luckily, since I live in Sweden, I don’t even pay for one month’s full use myself until I start getting it for free. The trick with this medicine is that it needs to be refrigerated, so I cannot order it home and I always need to plan my shopping when getting it since I cannot have it in my bag for too long.

I have just gotten new instructions from my doctor saying I can take out for two months instead of one, since she doesn’t think I should need to go to the pharmacy too often in the health crisis. Unluckily, the power goes that night, and I don’t know for how long, so I call medical services to find out what I should do with the medicine. Since there is a risk that it will be ruined, they tell me to take it back to the pharmacy to get new ones. Since I need a dose for that day, I go to do so, and I have to put other plans aside for the day in order to fix this.

Me: “Hi. I’m so sorry, but the power went and they said to exchange this in case it has gone bad.”

The pharmacist takes the medication and looks at it, then me, then to her computer, and then me again.

Pharmacist: “Do you know how expensive this is?”

Me: “Yes. As I said, the power went off, so the medicine might have been compromised.”

Pharmacist: “This is for two months!”

Me: “Yes, I know. I took it out yesterday — worst luck!”

She frowns and looks at her computer for a while.

Pharmacist: “Well, we don’t have any here, but you can find it at [Other Pharmacy].”

Me: “All right, should I just leave this here and go there, then?”

Pharmacist: “No, you need to bring this with you, or you can’t take out new medication again. Also, next time, perhaps you should only take out for one month; that way you won’t ruin as much of it.”

I did as she said and went a few blocks over to another pharmacy, only to have almost exactly the same conversation. I did get to make the exchange this time. I was so embarrassed and felt guilty about the whole thing, yet it was not even my fault, so thinking back, I wonder why they needed to keep rubbing it in?

I Just Learned Something New
Bizarre, Health & Body, Idaho, Medical Office, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 10, 2022
My cat passes away, and in the stress of dealing with his illness, I do forget to wear a mask outside a couple of times. The following days after his death, I suddenly get very sick, and naturally, all I can think of is that I caught something when I forgot to wear a mask. I have almost entirely lost my voice. So, I decide to get tested.

The nurse looks down my throat.

Nurse: “Yeah, you look a bit torn up in there from coughing. Let’s get the tests started.”

She swabs for a couple of different things, and while we are waiting for the results, she says:

Nurse: “Also, your tonsils looked kind of inflamed and oddly shaped…”

Me: *Croaking* “My what?!”

Nurse: “Tonsils, in the back of your throat?”

Me: *Coughing* “I had a tonsillectomy seven years ago!”

Nurse: *Pauses* “That would explain the odd shape they’re in. Well, you’re negative for [contagious illness], strep, and flu, so it’s probably tonsillitis.”

It turns out that, much like if you have part of your liver cut off, your tonsils can grow back, too. I’m the first person I know to have tonsillitis after getting tonsils removed. Good grief!

Making Your Eyes As Big As Dishes
Health & Body, Optometrist/Optician, Patients, Stupid, Sweden | Healthy | February 7, 2022
I finally graduated as a licensed optician this year, and seeing as I have a love for storytelling, of course, I take every chance I get to ask my new coworkers about the weirdest or dumbest customers/patients they’ve encountered. So far, this story I heard from one of the sales assistants absolutely takes the cake, although I do have a close runner-up, as well.

A woman comes in, complaining over something regarding her contact lenses. My coworker asks some general troubleshooting questions: how often do you change your contacts, do you sleep with them, are you cleaning them properly? That last question is where it all goes south.

Patient: “Of course, I clean them, but that cleaner you sold me doesn’t work very well, so I just use dish soap, instead.”

Coworker: *Pauses* “You use what now?”

Patient: “Yeah, dish soap and water. See, the cleaner doesn’t get the contacts clear enough; I still see all blurry when I put them back in. The dish soap makes them much cleaner.”

Coworker: *Absolutely dumbfounded* “You can’t… do that. Your eyes could get really badly damaged from that. Please don’t. You need to use the cleaner that your optician recommended for you.”

Patient: “Well, I still think the dish soap works better.”

Lady, how have you, for your entire life, missed the glaring labels on every single dish soap ever telling you NOT to let it come in contact with your eyes?

Congratulations On The (Frustrating, Long-Awaited) All-Clear!
Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Money, Non-Dialogue, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, Stupid, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2022
Some years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through all the treatment, surgeries, chemo, you name it. A couple of years later, at the three-month follow-up, my oncologist, upon consultation, didn’t like that he could feel some lumps under my arm, so he put in a request for a PET scan.

A PET scan is an imaging test where you are given a slightly radioactive glucose IV shot, wait an hour, and then go through a machine. Cancer being sugar-avid, if there is any tumor, it will light up on the screen.

My insurance denied the request because I didn’t have a CT scan done that would warrant the need for a PET scan; PET scans are more expensive than CT scans.

The oncologist then put in a request for a CT scan.

The insurance denied it because I didn’t have an MRI scan done that would warrant the need for a CT scan, CT scans being more expensive than MRI scans.

Then, my oncologist put in a request for an MRI scan.

The insurance promptly denied that because I didn’t have an XRay done that would warrant the need for an MRI scan.

And this is how I ended up having an XRay, an MRI scan, a CT scan, and a PET scan because insurance wanted to save the money for the PET scan. I got subjected to way more radiation than necessary for them to pay five times the cost they wanted to save.

It was negative. Years later, I am still cancer-free.

Congratulations On The (Frustrating, Long-Awaited) All-Clear!
Some years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I went through all the treatment, surgeries, chemo, you name it. A couple of years later, at the three-month follow-up, my oncologist, upon consultation, didn’t like that he could feel some lumps under my arm, so he put in a request for a PET scan.

A PET scan is an imaging test where you are given a slightly radioactive glucose IV shot, wait an hour, and then go through a machine. Cancer being sugar-avid, if there is any tumor, it will light up on the screen.

My insurance denied the request because I didn’t have a CT scan done that would warrant the need for a PET scan; PET scans are more expensive than CT scans.

The oncologist then put in a request for a CT scan.

The insurance denied it because I didn’t have an MRI scan done that would warrant the need for a CT scan, CT scans being more expensive than MRI scans.

Then, my oncologist put in a request for an MRI scan.

The insurance promptly denied that because I didn’t have an XRay done that would warrant the need for an MRI scan.

And this is how I ended up having an XRay, an MRI scan, a CT scan, and a PET scan because insurance wanted to save the money for the PET scan. I got subjected to way more radiation than necessary for them to pay five times the cost they wanted to save.

It was negative. Years later, I am still cancer-free.

Don’t Sprain Yourself Trying To Be Helpful
Florida, High School, Jerk, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 1, 2022
I am about fifteen and in high school, and cell phones aren’t really a thing yet. Yesterday, I sprained my ankle. It’s very painful and swollen, but an x-ray shows no breaks. I have a chemistry test, but it’s second period, so I figure I can limp around until then. My mom tells me to go to the office when I finish the test and call her, and she’ll come get me. She says she’ll call if she doesn’t hear from me by a certain time. I finish my test, which takes longer than I thought, and my teacher dismisses me to the office. I hobble in. The nurse is at the front desk.

Nurse: “Did you hurt yourself?”

Me: “I sprained my ankle yesterday. I came in to take my chem test, but I need to go home. It really hurts. Can I call my mom?”

Nurse: “Oh, a Tylenol will fix you right up. I’ve got some in my office. What’s your name?”

Me: “[My Full Name]. My mom said I could call her after the test and she’d come get me.”

Nurse: “No, no. All you need is Tylenol. Can’t have you missing class.”

Me: “Look, it’s really swollen and it hurts and—”

Nurse: “I know what you’re trying to do. You’re not going to skip.”

Me: “What?! I’m not skipping! It really hurts! I need to ice it!”

The phone rings.

Nurse: “Don’t even think about leaving. Sit down.”

I sit and pop my foot up on a chair. The nurse answers the phone.

Nurse: “[School].” *Pauses* “You need to pick your daughter up early?” *Pauses* “Sure, what’s your name?” *Pauses* “And her name?” *Pauses* “Oh.”

She glares daggers at me.

Nurse: “She’s in the office now.” *Pauses* “Due to the number of students skipping, we had to be sure before we called.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says she’s in pain.” *Pauses* “Yes, she says it’s swollen.” *Pauses* “Uh-huh.” *Pauses* “Okay.” *Pauses* “You’ll need to come in with ID.” *Pauses* “Thank you.”

She hangs up.

Nurse: “Don’t move. Your mom is on her way.”

Less than ten minutes later, my mom comes running in. My ankle has ballooned up at this point. There are now other office staff around. She waves her ID at the nurse and signs me out. Then, she helps me out of the chair and I hang on to her for balance.

Mom: *Loudly* “Don’t accuse a kid of trying to skip when she’s very clearly hurting. All you had to do was look at her foot to see she wasn’t faking.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry—”

Mom: “Nope. We are leaving.”

She took me home, where I iced and elevated my foot for the rest of the day. I didn’t see that nurse again!

I Hereby Diagnose Your Cat With Cat
Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Massachusetts, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 29, 2022
A number of years ago, my husband and I took our beloved cat to the vet for hot spots that had been causing her a great deal of grief. The vet advertised himself as holistic, which we saw as an advantage at the time.

Once we were in the examination room, he asked:

Vet: “Can one of you place one hand on [Cat]’s back while extending the other arm out straight?”

He then proceeded to hold up vials of unknown contents near our lovely cat’s body. With each one, he pushed on the outstretched arm, using his perceived resistance as an indicator of our poor cat’s sensitivity to its contents.

Sadly, my former husband wasn’t up to the task. He excused himself and went outside to stand by our car. From my vantage point near the window, I could still see him, bent double, laughing until he cried, while I was trapped inside, forced to freeze my face while the vet tested vial after vial.

The result? A $375 bill and a diagnosis of “sensitivity to strange smells,” which, if I’m not mistaken, covers all cats, ever.

Who Traumatized This Poor Tech?!
Bad Behavior, Employees, Insurance, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | January 26, 2022
Due to a variety of circumstances, our health insurance benefits come from my husband’s former (lousy) employer. They have switched to a new plan that is horrible. I signed us up for a plan from the marketplace but we are forced to keep the current plan for a month. I need to pick up a refill on my husband’s medication and it’s less than a week before Christmas.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Husband].”

Tech: “Sure. Can I get a date of birth?”

She enters the date of birth and freezes, staring at the computer. Finally, she starts to speak.

Tech: “Um, yeah, so, uh, we, we got his inhaler. It, um, it came in today.”

Me: “Okay?”

Tech: “So, it’s um, the insurance…”

Me: “I assume it’s more expensive under this plan.”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s $405.00.”

Me: “Holy s***. Okay.”

Tech: “So, do you want it?”

Me: “It’s not that I want it. It’s that he needs it, so… yeah.”

Tech: “It’s $405.00.”

Me: “Yes.”

Tech: “Hang on. I’m trying to figure this out.”

Me: “This is horrible insurance. It just started at the beginning of this month and we have new insurance starting next month. I know that’s why. It doesn’t matter about the details.”

Tech: “HANG ON! I’M TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT!”

I stand there, stunned.

Tech: “They are saying you haven’t reached your deductible yet. Your deductible is—”

Me: *Interrupting* “I know. This plan started this month. We have a new plan for next year. We will never reach the deductible.”

Tech: *Almost yelling* “I know it’s almost Christmas. I can’t help it!”

Me: “Unless you are actually an insurance company executive in disguise, it’s not your fault. Are you ready for my card?”

Tech: “MA’AM! IT’S $405.00!”

The pharmacist, who had been helping another customer, comes over.

Pharmacist: “It’s fine, [Tech]. She’s not upset. She’s not yelling. Just ring her up.”

Tech: “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”

Pharmacist: “I know. But she’s not mad at you. Just move and I’ll finish up.”

Just then, the store manager and a security guard come RUNNING toward us.

Manager: “Did they get away?”

Pharmacist: “Who? What’s going on?” *Pauses* “OH, MY GOD! [TECH]! Did you hit the panic button?!”

Tech: “Yes, she was upset.”

Pharmacist: “She was shocked at the price but she was not a problem.”

Manager: “What’s going on?”

Pharmacist: “This lady was picking up a refill. Last month it was $45. The new insurance price was $405.00”

Manager: “HOLY S***!”

Pharmacist: “That’s what the customer said, but she was much quieter about it. She wasn’t yelling or upset. She was just very surprised. I’m going to have a talk with [Tech]. There’s no issue here. You guys can leave.”

He manages to finish things up and I pay. All the while, the manager and security guard stand there, staring at me.

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I’m really sorry about all this. You did nothing wrong.”

Me: “Look, don’t be too hard on her. I’m going to assume that most people scream at her for things like this. I was expecting the price to have gone up — maybe not by 800% but up. I’m sorry if she thought I was yelling.”

Pharmacist: “You were fine. I think she just needs to take her break now.”

I sincerely hope she calmed down during her break.

How Do These People Become Doctors?!
Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Europe, Hospital | Healthy | January 23, 2022
My daughter has autism and PANS, which is a condition that has psychiatric and neurological symptoms. Recently, she has been complaining of pain in her right hand and foot. We go see a pediatric neurologist to see whether this is a real thing, or if she is using it as an excuse when she doesn’t want to do something. (It’s a possibility at her age.)

I know that pediatric neurologists mostly deal with epilepsy and less with muscle problems/neuropathy, which this resembles, but I can’t find out which one is more focused on that, so we go to the “top” guy.

I enter beforehand by myself to explain everything — that we need him to find out if it’s real and that it could be her fibbing. My daughter comes in and the doctor positively booms at her:

Doctor: “Look, I want to show you this song online!”

Very urgently, I ask him to turn off the video on his phone, because her ONLY big fear is unknown music videos. My daughter’s eyes have gone wide and her hands are pressing her headphones into her ears.

Doctor: *To me* “Shut up!”

My daughter finds her words and tells him to turn it off, and in a big show of bravery, she doesn’t run out of the examination room.

He gives her paperwork a very thorough look and tells us rambling stories about his work. My daughter is shuffling around and ends up sitting in his lap while he is talking to us; she is friendly like that. At one point, the doctor grabs her by surprise in a tight hold.

Doctor: “We will give you a big injection now!”

I am happy to say that my daughter has great experience with doctors and me and knows that I am the one calling the shots and that no surprises ever happen, so she looked at me and I quickly let her know that there wouldn’t be any shots today. I was not opposing the doctor. There was no shot; this was his amazing idea of a joke!

The whole time, he never once examined her physically. In the end, he gave us the recommendation for a multivitamin — at which I rolled my eyes — and a comment on the fact that I am “pretty feisty” and that he “respects that”.

Sadly, the doctor didn’t know that my husband is the lawyer for this group of hospitals, but he will find out pretty soon. We did find a specialist for neuromuscular problems and she is having a big, proper exam at another hospital in a few weeks.

Isn’t That Against The Geneva Convention?
Belgium, Family & Kids, Funny, Hospital, Spouses & Partners | Healthy | January 20, 2022
My mother was pregnant and about to give birth at the hospital. It was early in July and my mother was sweating profusely due to the effort of labor and the heatwave. A nurse gave my father a wet washcloth, assuming my father would wipe my mother’s face with it. Instead, he pressed it on her mouth and nose and started screaming:

Father: “Breathe! Breathe!”

A few minutes later, my brother was born safely. The nurses were still laughing. To this day, my father claims he doesn’t remember.

Does Anyone Else Suddenly Have Sweaty Palms?
Bad Behavior, Colorado, Denver, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | January 17, 2022
CONTENT WARNING: Needles



I’ve had a chronic illness since I was a baby, which has caused me to experience a lot of medical tests and treatments. When I was thirteen, I had a medical event and started breathing abnormally. My mom had to call 911, and I was taken to a children’s hospital. I was immediately admitted and put in a private room. I had a few tests, was put on oxygen, and was hooked up to a bunch of monitors. Then, a new nurse came in.

Nurse: *Visibly nervous* “Hi. I’m going to take some blood today.”

Me: “Okay, it’s no problem. I’m used to bloodwork and stuff.”

The nurse continued to look uncomfortable and started shuffling around the room, getting out supplies. I noticed that the needle he pulled out was really unusual, as it was extremely large and wasn’t an IV needle, which is what is usually used for blood work when someone is admitted to a hospital.

He sat down, and I could see that his hands were shaking violently. He put a large white towel under my arm and cleaned my entire arm with orange antiseptic, the kind used for surgical sites.

Me: “Why are you using that? Why not just use the regular alcohol wipes?”

He didn’t answer but started putting a tourniquet on my arm and handed me a stress ball.

Nurse: “Squeeze that as hard as you can.”

The nurse unwrapped the needle and I could fully see the size of it. It was enormous, and my heart started pounding. I’d never seen a needle like it, despite having constant IVs and blood draws throughout my life.

The nurse was now trembling like a leaf in the wind.

Nurse: “This is going to hurt… a lot. Stay still; that’s really important. Don’t move at all, even if it hurts.”

Me: “Okay…”

I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on or why a simple blood draw would hurt so badly.

Nurse: “Breathe in… and out…”

As I let my breath out, the nurse (still with shaking hands) held my wrist down and plunged the needle into my forearm. It was put in at a strange angle, pretty much at a full ninety degrees, and was stuck in very deep and forcefully. I was immediately overwhelmed with pain, my vision started tunneling, and it took every molecule of effort I had not to move or scream. It seemed like it took forever, but eventually, the tubes filled with blood and he pulled the needle out. Then, he just bandaged my arm and left, without acknowledging anything that had just happened.

I was fully weirded out by the entire experience. I was certain, at the time, that the nurse was incompetent or something, especially since he seemed so nervous.

It wasn’t until a full eight years later that I found out what even happened! I recently requested a copy of my records from that hospital and saw the write-up from that visit. I was floored to see that the test they were actually performing was an arterial blood gas (ABS)! In the test, a large needle is put straight into an artery, and it is considered to be extremely painful — so painful that it is unethical to perform it on anyone without giving them local anesthetic first. Not only was I not given local anesthetic (AS A CHILD AT A CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL), but nobody bothered to even explain what was going to happen, what test they were performing, or that it was any different than a regular blood draw or IV.

It truly was one of the most memorable (and horrible) things I’ve ever experienced in a medical setting, and I never went back to that hospital.

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 15
Awesome, Colorado, Denver, Hospital, Inspirational, Nurses, USA | Healthy | January 14, 2022
I’ve had a severe chronic illness since I was a baby. Due to this, growing up, I spent a lot of time in different hospitals and medical offices and have had a wide variety of treatments and tests.

When I was around ten years old, I was due to have an MRI of my brain. I was pretty nervous about it, especially since I needed IV contrast and wasn’t sure how I’d handle the whole “laying super still in a confined space for several hours” thing. There was also a layer of extra anxiety for me, since they were looking for brain cancer.

I was also told before the appointment that I could bring a few DVD movies which could be played for me to watch during the scan to keep me calm and distracted.

Nurse: “Hello! So, you’re here for an MRI, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Okay, go ahead into the changing room to put on your gown, and make sure to leave all your belongings in there, too. When you’re ready, go through the door on the other side, and that’ll lead you right into the MRI room. Oh, also, did you bring any movies to play during the scan?”

Me: “Yes, they’re here.”

I handed them to her and then went into the changing room. After I put on my gown, I pushed my way through the door to the MRI room and was immediately rendered speechless. The walls of the room seemed to be made of wall-to-ceiling digital screens, and playing on the screens was a scene of the ocean with fish darting around and whales floating by. On top of that, the MRI machine had been turned a blue color to match the scenery.

I was totally surprised and just went to pieces, smiling and crying, and I could feel my anxiety and nerves melting away. One of the nurses was sort of hovering nearby and watching my reaction.

Me: “How…?”

Nurse: “Since this is a children’s hospital, the screens were put in to help children feel better about getting scans done, and to reduce the number of kids that need to be sedated.”

Me: “Wow, but… how did you know that I love the ocean?”

Nurse: “Well, we noticed that all three of the movies you gave us were about the ocean, so we assumed that you like the water and that seeing the fish might help you feel calmer.”

Me: “Gosh, thank you so much! I hadn’t even noticed that all of my movies were about the ocean!”

The scenery did make me feel better, and I wasn’t nervous at all after seeing it. I managed to last the entire MRI without freaking out or moving and was able to see the scenery and my movies through a small mirror inside the helmet that I had to wear during the scan.

Honestly, the kindness of those nurses left a huge impact on me, and I consider it to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I still think about it now, as an adult, especially since most hospital nurses are overworked and have chaotic schedules. I know that noticing a tiny detail about me, and then intentionally going out of their way to help me feel better was immeasurably kind. I’ve had many MRIs after this, none of them with the special screens and effects, but I’ve never felt nervous about them, and I think it’s because my first MRI wasn’t nearly as

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 14
Awesome, Bad Behavior, Current Events, Editors' Choice, Hospital, Nurses, UK | Right | August 26, 2021
I’m a nurse and have been working like crazy in these wonderful times of plague.

I need to get a patient to another ward and, luckily, it’s in the same building, so instead of waiting for the porters — who have been run ragged as much as anyone else in a hospital; praise to them, too! — I decide to wheel the patient there myself. We have a large lift — elevator for you Americans — designed for gurneys and the like, so I bring the patient there.

The door opens, and in the middle of this large space… is HER. The hair, the clothes, the age, the sneer. Everything about her screams, “I want to speak to your manager.”

She gives me one look with my patient and steps forward, blocking my path.

Woman: “No. Wait your turn.”

Me: “What?!”

Woman: “This is my lift. Wait for the next one.”

Me: “No, this is not your lift. I need to get this patient to the ward upstairs.”

She actively sticks her FOOT out to block my gurney before I can get the patient in.

Woman: “SOCIAL DISTANCING! SOCIAL DISTANCING! STAY BACK!”

Me: “Back off! Patients take priority, so if you don’t want to be close to anyone else, you wait for the next one. Or take the stairs. I don’t care, but get the h*** out of my way.”

Woman: “But he could infect me!”

She’s pointing at my patient, who is just staring at this woman like, “WTF?!” I am DONE with this woman.

Me: “I am nine days into an eleven-day run of shifts, most of them running twelve hours. I do not have time for this, or you, or your f***ery. F***… OFF.”

Something breaks in me and I think she sees that, too. She five a loud “harrumph” and storms off, making sure to “accidentally” hit me with her handbag as she swings past me. So much for social distancing!

As the doors close, all my patient can say is:

Patient: “I’m about to have an operation, but that was the most painful thing I’ll experience in this place.”

He (and I) are doing fine!

The woman, hopefully, is still waiting for a lift somewhere, wondering why she has to share them in a busy hospital.

Not All Customers Are Jerks
British Columbia, Canada, Employees, Pharmacy | Working | March 1, 2022
I’m picking up the prescription that I ordered online. The tech calls a consult over her shoulder to a pharmacist. It seems odd to me as I’ve been taking the same medication for five years and gave no indication that I had questions.

The pharmacist puts down what he is doing and comes over, looking at me expectantly, but I shrug and look at the tech who is typing into a computer, looking from the keyboard to the screen but nowhere else for the rest of my visit.

He leans over and whispers. In fact, the whole conversation between them is whispered.

Pharmacist: “What does she need?”

Tech: “The number.”

The pharmacist looks between me and the little sheet he’s holding, and I glance at the upside-down sheet, seeing $0, as my insurance covers the cost. I shrug again, as perplexed as he is.

Pharmacist: “I’m not seeing—”

Tech: “The amount.”

Pharmacist: “It’s free; it’s covered. I don’t see the problem.”

Tech: “The amount she wants.”

The pharmacist looks back down.

Pharmacist: “Oh. I see here.” *To me* “You ordered sixty tablets but your doctor only allows thirty at a time.”

Me: “Oh, not a problem. I didn’t know there was a maximum. I’ll take whatever I’m allowed.”

There are odd looks all around and the pharmacist goes back to whispering.

Pharmacist: “Why did you call me over?”

Tech: “I thought she’d be mad.”

The pharmacist and I shared a look as he went back to what he was doing. The tech never looked away from her computer, so I grabbed the few boxes and walked away. I get that I’m a middle-aged woman, but jeez, we’re not all unreasonable!

Probably Would’ve Been Faster To Go Home
Bad Behavior, California, Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, Public Restroom, USA | Right | February 24, 2022
I have been working as a pharmacy tech for two years and have gotten my fair share of crude comments and angry customers. I am working a quiet shift at an independent pharmacy located in a plaza. I like to play a game with myself when it’s quiet to see whether the person driving into the lot is coming into our pharmacy or one of the fast food or retail stores next to us. I’ve gotten pretty good at it!

While taking inventory, I spot a little gray Honda zipping through the parking lot and coming to a screeching stop in by far the furthest parking spot you can from the plaza, despite the availability of closer locations.

A small, middle-aged woman emerges from her vehicle with a look of determination on her face. Instinctually, I abandon the inventory work in the front of the store and step behind the counter to brace for the storm to come. As she gets closer, I can sense the looming rage emanating from her presence. She flings the door open.

Lady: “Where is your restroom? I really need to go.”

Me: “Hi, ma’am. I’m sorry, but unfortunately, we don’t have a restroom that you can use. You can try the [Sandwich Shop] next door. I’m sure they have one there.”

Our humble store is small, very small. There is very little room for storage, so space is a rare commodity. We have a storage room for the prescription files, but since we only have one washroom for employees, we use a small part of our washroom to store large bins with old prescriptions that are a few years old. Needless to say, anyone coming into our washroom that does not work there is a HIPAA violation waiting to happen.

Instead of explaining all of that, we just say we don’t have a washroom in our store. Luckily, there is a public washroom in the plaza that requires a key to get into for this exact situation. Unfortunately, during renovations in the past year, our store’s copy of the key was misplaced somewhere and cannot be located by the store owner. Most people, upon hearing that we don’t have any washroom facilities to accommodate their brewing situation, leave and look for a place elsewhere. But this is not going to fly with the Honda-driving dame.

Lady: “What am I supposed to do?! All the shops here have closed their washrooms because of [the health crisis].”

Me: “There is a gas station across the street that could let you go in.”

The lady ignores my suggestion and calls our bluff about the washroom situation.

Lady: “Well, guess what? I’m going to go right here!”

She proceeds to unbutton her pants in front of me and the poor relief pharmacist. The lady tucks her thumbs into her waistband and gets ready to pull her pants down. She pauses, cocks her head up at me, and stares me down.

In shock and contemplating whether she is serious about letting us witness her bowel movements, I stare back in silence.

Lady: “You’re really not going to let me use your washroom.”

She pauses, still staring at me. I stare back. She grunts.

Lady: “Ugh! Fine, then! I’ll do it right in front of your store!”

The lady picked up her purse and started walking out of the store, opening our door so hard the handle smacked on the glass of the nearby store. She got outside, turned around, and cupped her hands in front of her face to look at me through the glass.

Like an accident on the road, all I could do was look on at her, expressionless, waiting to see what she was about to do next. She threateningly tugged at her pants again to indicate to me that “she was really going to do it!” I looked past her to see a family with young children standing outside on the sidewalk. Noticing that I was no longer looking at her, she clued in and realized that she was about to flash not only the disapproving public but young, impressionable children.

She rebuttoned her trousers again and stormed off past my field of view and away from the eyes of children. About twenty minutes went by before I saw her sputtering silver vehicle zipping away out of the lot after what I can only presume to be the deed being done.

We Hope Your Car Has A Radio
Arizona, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy, Tucson, USA | Working | February 16, 2022
This morning, I leave for work ten minutes early so I can swing through the drive-thru of the pharmacy on the way and pick up my allergy medicine. The medicine I’m picking up does not require a prescription, but my doctor actually did a prescription anyway so that my insurance would pay for it. I got a text message last night that my prescription was ready.

I pull into the empty drive-thru and pull up to the window, and no one comes to help me. I press the call button, a voice says that they will be with me shortly, and no one comes to help me.

I wait five minutes and press the call button again, and no one comes to help me, or even answers this time.

I wait another five minutes, give up, and try to phone the store, and an employee finally comes to help me. I give her my name, birth date, and address so she can confirm my identity, and she scans my prescription, staples a receipt to it without telling me how much it is or asking whether I want to use the card on file, and sets it on the counter inside the window where I have no way of reaching it.

Employee: “The pharmacist will come give this to you.”

And she vanished before I could say anything.

I waited another seven minutes for the pharmacist to hand me the prescription that was already paid for, and, remember, did not actually require a prescription to purchase. I could see about half of the inside pharmacy counter from the drive-thru window, as well as most of the pharmacy waiting area, and there was exactly one other pharmacy customer.

Eventually, the pharmacist came to give me my medication, did not do anything that actually merits waiting for a pharmacist, and offered no explanation for the wait other than that he was on the phone with a doctor, which doesn’t explain why I had to wait for him in the first place.

As I had wasted an additional fifteen minutes on what should have been a two-minute stop, I was barely on time to work and had to rush to get myself clocked in and start working.

It’s All In The Timing
Bosses & Owners, France, Instant Karma, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy | Working | February 14, 2022
A high school friend is working at a big local pharmacy. He has no medical degree, so he does all the other tasks: stocking the shelves, filling the printers, cleaning, etc. He likes to tell the story of how he got the job.

It started as a summer job, and then they gave him a short-term contract, which was renewed twice. The law says that after the third contract you have to consider making it a full-time position. The head pharmacist was all for keeping him, but the owner thought it was a waste of money and said so with some nasty slurs about uneducated people.

So, the head pharmacist talked to my friend, and they arranged the schedule for him to stop working right as the pharmacy opened their brand new orthopedics aisle. With no one to do the basic tasks and the extra load of work for the opening, it was a nightmare. The owner had to step in more than once to keep the pharmacy running.

It took some more negotiations before my friend got his long-term contract, but the owner was way more open to the idea of a non-medical worker helping out. At least the health crisis didn’t hurt them too badly.

Thanks For The Double Dose Of Guilt
Employees, Jerk, Medication, Pharmacy, Sweden | Healthy | February 13, 2022
I take a very expensive medicine. Luckily, since I live in Sweden, I don’t even pay for one month’s full use myself until I start getting it for free. The trick with this medicine is that it needs to be refrigerated, so I cannot order it home and I always need to plan my shopping when getting it since I cannot have it in my bag for too long.

I have just gotten new instructions from my doctor saying I can take out for two months instead of one, since she doesn’t think I should need to go to the pharmacy too often in the health crisis. Unluckily, the power goes that night, and I don’t know for how long, so I call medical services to find out what I should do with the medicine. Since there is a risk that it will be ruined, they tell me to take it back to the pharmacy to get new ones. Since I need a dose for that day, I go to do so, and I have to put other plans aside for the day in order to fix this.

Me: “Hi. I’m so sorry, but the power went and they said to exchange this in case it has gone bad.”

The pharmacist takes the medication and looks at it, then me, then to her computer, and then me again.

Pharmacist: “Do you know how expensive this is?”

Me: “Yes. As I said, the power went off, so the medicine might have been compromised.”

Pharmacist: “This is for two months!”

Me: “Yes, I know. I took it out yesterday — worst luck!”

She frowns and looks at her computer for a while.

Pharmacist: “Well, we don’t have any here, but you can find it at [Other Pharmacy].”

Me: “All right, should I just leave this here and go there, then?”

Pharmacist: “No, you need to bring this with you, or you can’t take out new medication again. Also, next time, perhaps you should only take out for one month; that way you won’t ruin as much of it.”

I did as she said and went a few blocks over to another pharmacy, only to have almost exactly the same conversation. I did get to make the exchange this time. I was so embarrassed and felt guilty about the whole thing, yet it was not even my fault, so thinking back, I wonder why they needed to keep rubbing it in?

You Can Always Trust The Internet
Bigotry, Health & Body, Pharmacy, Stupid | Right | February 7, 2022
I work at a pharmacy. A customer is trying to fill a prescription.

Customer: “Make sure my medication doesn’t come from China! They make microchips there, and I don’t want any of the microchip-contaminated medicine.”

Me: “I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about, sir.”

Customer: “I learned about it on YouTube!”