Not Good For Your Blood Pressure
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 31, 2014
(The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

(The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

Those Who Can’t Be The Easter Bunny, Teach
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 13, 2014
(I am checking out a woman and her young daughter while I overhear their conversation.)

Daughter: “Mom, can I be a teacher when I grow up?”

Mother: “You can be whatever you want when you grow up sweetie.”

Daughter: “Can I be the Easter Bunny?”

Mother: “No… you can’t be the Easter Bunny.”

A Spoonful Of Violence Helps The Medicine Go Down
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 15, 2014
(I am on quite a few prescription medicines, one of which costs $170. I am picking up four refills.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “This one is $1.17. The second is $7.79. And the third is…”

(He trails off and takes a few steps back from the counter separating us.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Uh… do you know how much this costs?”

Me: “If it’s the [Brand Name Medicine], then it will be about $170.”

(He looks relieved and returns to the register.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Sorry. On my first week on the job, a customer assaulted me after hearing the price of his medicine.”

You Are Eavesdropping On I
PHARMACY | RELATED | JULY 11, 2014
(I’m out with my parents, running some errands. During one stop, my dad picks up a prescription while my mom and I wait in the car, since it’ll be quick. She cracks the windows, though, since it’s warm. Two women exit the store.)

Woman #1 : “Now, this is just between you and I…”

(She continues talking unaware as Mom sighs dramatically.)

Mom: “People misuse ‘I’ and ‘me’ so often. It’s so annoying!”

Me: “So is eavesdropping…”

Looking For A Needle In A Haystack Of Stupid
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 25, 2014
(I’m in the pharmacy picking up my prescription for insulin.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We are currently out of the insulin pens, so we’ve substituted a bottle of insulin that you can use until we get the pens back in stock in a few days.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I don’t have any syringes at home any more so I’ll need to buy some.”

Pharmacy Tech: “You’ll need to get a doctor to send us a prescription for the syringes.”

Me: “So, you are saying you don’t have the insulin pens. So you are giving me a bottle of insulin, but you won’t give me the syringes to use them?”

Pharmacy Tech: “We can’t give you syringes without a doctor’s prescription.”

Me: “Can I please talk to the pharmacist?”

Pharmacy Tech: “She’s very busy right now, and she’s going to tell you the same thing.”

Me: “I will wait.”

(The pharmacy tech huffs, and I go sit down in the waiting area. About 10 minutes later, after I’ve seen the pharmacist give several consultations, I walk up to the consultation window.)

Pharmacist: *very pleasantly* “Hi. Do you need a consultation?”

Me: “Actually, the lady at the register said that you were substituting a bottle of insulin instead of the pens because you are out.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, you need to know how to use the syringes?”

Me: “No, I know how to do that, but I don’t have any syringes.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, no problem. We’ll give you some since we are out of the pens.”

Me: “The lady at the register is refusing to give them to me without a prescription.”

(The pharmacist looks towards the registers and glares.)

Pharmacist: “She’s been doing that all day. I don’t know why I have to keep explaining it to her. At least she goes home in half an hour.”

(The pharmacist rang me up and I was on my way with syringes. I never saw the pharmacy tech there again.)

On A Stool’s Errand
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 22, 2014
(I am working in a public health clinic pharmacy. A worker from another department walks in the door and drops a baggie on the counter.)

Worker: “Hi. Here’s the stool sample you wanted.”

Me: *attempting to hide my intense feelings of alarm* “Um, this is the pharmacy. I think you want the lab. It’s across the hall.”

Worker: *snatches bag off counter* “Okay.”

(The woman left. I immediately began frantically sanitizing the counter.)

Not As Easy As ABC, 123
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 5, 2014
Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

Me: “Sure”

(I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

(I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

Not A Hire Level Of Professionalism
BAD BEHAVIOR, GERMANY, JOB SEEKERS, PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 2, 2014
(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)

Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”

Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”

Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”

Me: “What did you do?”

Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”

Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”

Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”

(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)

Likes To Party Hard
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MAY 1, 2014
(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 29, 2014
(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

Seeing Eye Dog
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2014
(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

Your Ears Must Deceive You
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 25, 2014
(It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, at a very small shop that’s located by a big shopping centre. There’s literally nobody in the car park or in the shops of this place. The only people in the area are the pharmacist and the cashier.)

Me: “Could I get my ears pierced, please?”

Pharmacist: “Sorry. We’re too busy on weekends to pierce ears.”

(There’s a moment of awkward silence as I look around the empty, silent shop.)

Me: “You’re too busy?”

Pharmacist: “Yes. We only pierce ears on weekdays because weekends are too busy.”

(I’m lost for words for a moment, as I stand alone in the customer area where not even all the aisles have their lighting on.)

Me: “Could you make an exception?”

Pharmacist: “What if ten people with prescriptions were to suddenly arrive? Then what would we do? There’s only two of us behind the counter.”

(I end up leaving pretty soon after without getting anything, as the pharmacist continued to insist that ten people with prescriptions would materialise from the empty car-park.)

A Gross Grocery Error
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2014
(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Child] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

Doesn’t Have A Glue
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 29, 2013
(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2013
(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four!”

Intelligence Is Not The Flavor Of The Month
PHARMACY | WORKING | DECEMBER 3, 2013
(In the UK, you get your prescriptions for free if you’re age 16, 17, or 18, and in full-time education, which I am. Your age in years and months is written on your collection form. Mine reads 16 years and 9 months.)

Me: “Hello. I need to pick up a prescription. Could you show me what I need to sign?”

Pharmacist: *glances at the form* “Are you working?”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Are you in full-time education?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “Are any of these applicable?”

(The pharmacist points to war veterans benefits and low income benefits, as well as two others that definitely don’t apply.)

Me: “Uh. No.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this medicine. It’ll be £7.88.”

Me: “What? It’s always been free in the past! I haven’t got any money on me.”

Pharmacist: “It’s £7.88, I’m afraid. If you want, I can hold it for you and you can pick it up later when you’ve got some money. We close at 5:45.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I could do that. I’ve never had to pay before. Are you sure that’s right?”

Pharmacist: “Have you? You should’ve been charged. Anyway, you have to pay now.”

(I leave, knowing I won’t be able to return home and back in time. I call my dad and ask him to collect it for me. He does so and gets it to me when he gets home from work.)

Dad: “Want to know why they wouldn’t give it to you?”

Me: “Why?”

Dad: “The other pharmacist was serving me. She read over your prescription and asked the woman who’d served you why she’d charged you, as your prescription form clearly said you’re 16. She looked mortified. Turns out, she’d misread the ‘9’ in your 9 months as ’19’!”

(Good to know these are the people handling our medicine!)

A Bitter Pill To Swallow
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 23, 2013
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2013
(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

The Pharmacist Calls The Shots
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 7, 2013
(I have numerous health problems, and have to take 10 different prescription medications. Because of the risk of drug interactions, I don’t take as much as a vitamin without running it past a pharmacist. I’m in the pharmacy to buy an over-the-counter drug allergy tablet.)

Me: “Before I get that, I’d like to speak to the pharmacist please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. What’s the problem?”

Me: “I take several prescription drugs. I’d like to make sure this tablet’s not going to cause a bad interaction.”

Assistant: *rolling eyes* “I shouldn’t think it would.”

Me: “I would like to speak to the pharmacist, please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. I’m sure I can answer your questions.”

Me: “I’m concerned about drug interactions and I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE PHARMACIST, PLEASE.”

Assistant: “Well, it’s just Lipitor or something, isn’t it? That’s no problem.”

(Instead of answering, I place on the counter the bag I carry my meds in; I bring it to new pharmacies so there’s no possibility of mistaken dosages or anything forgotten. I open the bag and begin to take out my various medications, including the injectible, and the ones plastered with warning labels. The assistant’s eyes get bigger with each new box.)

Assistant: “…I’ll just go get the pharmacist.”

Me: “You do that.”

Drive Flu
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 30, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy that has a drive-thru. We do flu shots and they are in high demand. We have never administered a flu shot at the drive-thru. A customer drives up to the window in her mini-van.)

Me “Good afternoon! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I would like to get the flu shot. Can you hurry because I have things to do.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but you will have to come inside for us to administer the shot. It won’t take more than five minutes.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to get out of my car. I’m in a hurry; I’m the customer and you have to do what I say, so you have to do it from here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s against the rules to do it at the drive-thru. I don’t think it would be very sanitary and I wouldn’t even be able to reach you from this window. You will need to come in. I promise it won’t take long.”

(The customer puts her car into gear, so I figure she is coming inside so I close the window and walk away. As I walk away I hear a blaring car horn so I go back to the window.)

Customer: “You have no right to deny me the shot! Are you trying to kill me? What if I get the flu and die? It would be your fault and you will go to jail for MURDER!”

Me: “I’m not denying you the shot, ma’am. Like I said you will have to come inside; it’s the rules. Please move so I can help the other customers.”

Customer: “NO, B****! I WANT THE SHOT RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT COMING INSIDE! I’M NOT MOVING MY CAR UNTIL YOU HELP ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU LAZY B****!”

Me: “No, you need to come inside. We can not administer a shot at a drive-thru window. We have never done it that way. If you come inside I will be able to help you and it will only take minutes. Please move your car so I can help other customers.”

Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MOVING AND YOU BETTER NOT HELP ANYONE ELSE! I WAS HERE FIRST AND I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE SHOT FROM HERE! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE SHOT I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB IN THIS CITY!”

Me: “For the last time, NO! If you don’t move your car, I’m going to call the police.”

(I start helping the other customers. The customer continues to yell, flips me off and hits the gas. That’s when I hear a loud crash. I look to see that she had put her car in reverse by accident and slammed into the car behind her!)

No ID, No Idea, Part 13
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

Doing A Real Job On Doing A Real Job
PHARMACY | WORKING | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have just gotten off of a split shift, during my second seven-day work week. My children have joined me for the last part of my second shift to help me out and we are heading home. It’s just after 8:30 pm, and I’ve been at it since 6 am. We go to the pharmacy next to my store to buy some ibuprofen, and I go up to the pharmacy desk to pay since the main cash has a huge lineup of people buying toilet paper and snack foods. After waiting about two minutes the pharmacy technician, who’s been looking at me and sighing deeply, finally comes to serve me.)

Employee: “Are you here to pick up a prescription?”

Me: “No, I’d just like to pay for these.”

Employee: *as she’s scanning my pills* “Okay, well this cash is only for prescription medication purchases. You should really have gone to the main cash.”

(I’ve often seen customers paying for everything from band aids to makeup at this cash without buying prescriptions, as long as they had some sort of medication with them from the pharmacy area where I picked up my pills.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I just assumed that you pay for medicine at the pharmacy counter. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Employee: “Yeah, well we’re really busy you know, and this takes me away from doing all my work. Now it’s going to take me even longer to finish up and get out of here tonight.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I work in retail myself, I know how frustrating it is when you’re busy and you have to stop to help a customer or coworker. It can be—”

Employee: “And you know, just because it doesn’t look like we’re doing anything, it doesn’t mean we’re not busy. We have a lot to do here and this is really annoying! You know, people are just leaving us with their prescriptions all the time.”

Me: “Well, that is your job but still I can understand—”

Employee: “When customers like you waste our time like this it’s really annoying. It’s going to take us even longer to finish up now.”

(The pharmacist finally hands me my change. My children are clinging to me nervously and the customers around me are all shuffling around awkwardly, trying not to look our way. I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Look, I’ve literally been working since 6am. I worked seven days in the last week, I have one day off this week, and I’ll be working from home, and then I work another seven days. I am exhausted, and I regularly have to stop what I’m doing to help my customers, coworkers and employees even when they really could have managed without me. I regularly have to work late or start early due to these interruptions, and my job is 90% physical work on the floor doing heavy lifting and going up and down ladders in a dusty stockroom. You are preaching to the choir here lady. And I’ll tell you, I have never spoken to a customer the way you just spoke to me, or made them feel guilty about coming in to shop and making me do my JOB! Thank you and good night.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 13
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

Cold And Uncaring
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 12, 2013
(Our pharmacy has recently switched to a new manufacturer of Lorazepam, which requires refrigeration. I overhear a conversation between a patient’s caregiver, and the pharmacist.)

Caregiver: “So I was told this stuff has to be kept cold? Is it still good if it wasn’t?”

Pharmacist: “No, you’re going to have to get it replaced. If it’s been left in room temperature for more than a few hours, I cannot recommend you giving it to your patient.”

Caregiver: “Well nobody told me it had to be kept cold! I want a free replacement.”

Pharmacist: “We put ‘REFRIGERATE’ on every label; don’t you read your patient’s labels?”

Caregiver: “I don’t have time to read all the labels.”

Pharmacist: “Then how do you know you’re giving the drugs properly to the patient?”

Caregiver: “…”

Pharmacist: “That’ll be $30 for a new bottle.”

Drugs Can Make You See Things
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 2, 2013
(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

(I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

(The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

(By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 23, 2013
(I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

(The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

Me: *screaming internally*

Misconceiving The Point
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 21, 2013
(I am a 20-year-old female, but I guess I look younger. This occurs the first time I am buying condoms. I feel a little awkward, since it is my only item, and I’ve never bought them before.)

Cashier: *holding up the box of condoms* “Will this be all?”

Me: “Yep.”

Cashier: “I don’t think I can sell these to you.”

Me: “W-why?”

Cashier: “I think you’re too young to be having sex.”

Me: “That’s absurd! I’m 20 years old!”

Cashier: “Yeah, okay. Prove it! Let me see your driver’s license.”

(I start to go through my purse, when an old lady in line behind me speaks up towards the cashier.)

Old Lady: “Hey, you pimply a**-hole! Just let the girl buy her stuff. She’s trying to buy contraception to have safe sex instead of risking an STD or a pregnancy. Even if she was younger than 20, and I believe she is telling the truth, you should still sell them to her to prevent another teenage pregnancy! On top of it, we are on a college campus! How many young teenagers do you see around here? Most of the people who shop here are 17 or older! Just give her the d*** condoms!”

(The cashier wordlessly scans my items and bags them, and takes my cash.)

Me: “Have a nice day, jack-a**! Oh, and I’m paying for her stuff, too.”

Make His Life A Living Bell
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | AUGUST 13, 2013
(I am a cashier at a small town pharmacy. An older customer walks in making a jingling sound, and I see that he has bells tied to his shoelaces. It is August, and he appears anything but jolly, so I am perplexed by the bells.)

Me: “Sir, if you don’t mind my asking: why the bells?”

Customer: “My wife is going deaf, and she gets mad when I ‘sneak up on her.’ This was her solution.”

In Need Of Valium
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 7, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mom and I are shopping, and we pass the drug store.)

Mom: “I need to go there.”

Me: “Mommy, no, I’m tired! I wanna go home; let’s go home!”

Mom: “No. It’ll be quick.”

(Mom pulls me into the drug store.)

Me: “Why do we have to go here? It’s a bad place!”

Mom: “Oh, really? Why do you say that.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s called a drug store, and I heard that drugs are bad! On TV!”

Mom: “Uh huh.”

Me: *to other customers* “DRUGGIES! You’re bad people! Drugs are BAD—”

(My mom hustles me out of there and never takes me back!)

You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2013
(I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

(I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

(I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

An Impatient Patient
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2013
(It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

(We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

(The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

(My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

(I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

(The customer stomps out.)

Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”

A Leftist Agenda
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 29, 2013
(I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

Me: “I’m left-handed.”

Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

Customer: “Huh…”

(The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

Me: “Carefully.”

Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

Diabetes Meets Rabies
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 27, 2013
(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 21, 2013
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

This Cashier’s Number Is Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | JUNE 9, 2013
(I am 20 years old at this time. Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I go out to the store to buy some fake wine and chocolates for my boyfriend.)

Cashier: “Oooh, a date for Valentine’s Day?”

Me: “Yep! We’re going out to dinner, and I thought I’d buy this stuff for dessert.”

Cashier: “Nice! Can I see some ID for the wine?”

Me: “Oh, that’s grape juice. It doesn’t have alcohol.”

Cashier: “No, I need to see your ID for the wine. I can’t sell it to you if you’re under 21.”

Me: “No, it’s sparkling grape juice. I’m 20 and I’ve bought it before. It doesn’t have any alcohol in it.”

Cashier: “I suppose I can let it slide for a pretty girl like you.”

Me: “Excuse me? First off, that would be illegal if this was real wine, and second, I just mentioned I have a boyfriend. It’s fake wine. Please just let me buy this and leave.”

Cashier: “No need to be like that. I’ll sell it to you.”

Me: “Thank you! What’s my total?”

Cashier: “Your phone number.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “I’ll give this to you for your phone number! I can take you out someplace really nice to eat, and then we can go back to my place if you know what I mean. I get free condoms for working here!”

Me: “Here’s $10. This should cover my purchases. I’m going to leave and pretend you didn’t just ask me to have sex with you in exchange for dinner and my groceries.”

Needs To Take A Chill Pill, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 4, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy], how can I—”

Customer: “So I just requested a refill, and I want to know when it will be ready.”

Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

(The customer gives her name. I see that no refill was requested. The medication is out of refills, and needs approval from the doctor.)

Me: “I am very sorry, but we must not have gotten your refill request. I see that there are no refills available. I am going to have to fax the doctor.”

Customer: “I did that. I went to their site and asked the doctor to do that. It should have just given my request to you, and it should be ready by now.”

Me: “So, which website did you go to? Was it ours, or your doctor’s site?”

Customer: “His, duh! How can you be that stupid? I requested it, and you see that request, and then you just fill out the paper to give me refills. All the doctor does is sign it. It should take like all of five minutes to get that done. So when the h*** is my prescription going to be ready?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry. We are in no way connected to your doctor’s office. They have their own software, and we have ours. We cannot in any way see what you have requested with your doctor’s office. We have to wait until he contacts us, and sometimes that can take up to three days for a response. Now if you are out of this medica—”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I know how these computer things work. You can look up any person’s prescriptions anywhere and anytime, no matter what pharmacy they are at! Now fill my f****** prescription!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that. That would be in direct violation of federal law. There is a privacy act that means that we cannot share medical information with anyone else without your direct consent. Would you like it if I could access your medical record right now and see things like what you went to the ER for?”

(Note: this customer is a notorious drug seeker, and is well known at ERs and Urgent Cares throughout the area. She also knows that we know.)

Customer: “…uh, no.”

Me: “That’s why we can’t see anything your doctor may have on you, or what requests you may have made to him. It’s to protect your privacy. Now since this isn’t a narcotic, I can ask the pharmacist if we can advance you some of your medication until we hear back from the doctor.”

Customer: “Uh yeah, okay. That will be fine then.”

(My pharmacist later pulls me to the side and tells me that I did a great job with a difficult customer, and with keeping my cool. Come Christmas time, I got a few extra bucks in my bonus!)

Doing More Pharm Than Good
CALIFORNIA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA | WORKING | MAY 31, 2013
(My daughter has a seizure disorder. We are a low-income family, and we get low-cost insurance through the state for her. However, because of this disorder, she has separate insurance through the state; the pharmacy knows this.)

Tech: “Um, okay, so we tried to run your daughter’s medication and it won’t go through. We have to contact [Regular] insurance to see why it won’t go through.”

Me: “Wait, no… you have to run it through [Other] insurance. I called this in like three days ago, and you are now just calling me?! That is the medication she takes for her seizures. I am out, too, and I can’t have her miss a dose.”

Tech: “We did and it didn’t work. You can pay cash for it. That’s $54.99.”

Me: “Look, I am low income. I can’t afford something that expensive. Are you sure you ran it through the right insurance?”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault you let your insurance lapse or something. You need to call [Regular] insurance and take care of it on your end or else pay cash.”

(I call my daughter’s regular insurance, who confirms my side of things. They call the pharmacy and get them to approve the medication. I call back but request to speak with a pharmacist directly.)

Me: “So, did it work this time?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, it did. I’m sorry [Tech] was acting that way. She just didn’t want to run it on the other insurance because it takes a few more steps to make.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard this song and dance every month for the last three months and nothing has changed. Look, my kid was totally out of her seizure meds! She could have had a seizure because of your lack of calling me about it in a timely manner and making jump through hoops I don’t need to.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m really busy, and I can’t watch everything they do all the time.”

Me: “Wow, you just inspired me to take my business elsewhere and call corporate to complain.”

(Within two hours, my daughter’s prescriptions were transferred to another pharmacy where they DO take the time to run it correctly and call me if/when there is a problem. I recently went back into that first store to return something and there was an entirely new staff in the pharmacy. I hope these ones do actually care!)

One Good Deed Job-Leads To Another
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 28, 2013
(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”

Me: “Of course!”

(While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)

Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”

Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”

(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)

Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”

(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)

Female Customer: “Thank you again!”

Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”

Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”

Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”

(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)

Probably Needs Some Valium Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 17, 2013
(A customer comes into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

(She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

(I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

(My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

(The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

Customer #2 : “That b**** be crazy.”

Me: “I agree, sir.”

(I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

Customer #2 : “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

It’s Apparent He’s A Parent
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 13, 2013
(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1 : “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2 : “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1 : “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)